Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML
Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML
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Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Grab his face, compliment it, then utter "but we cannot be together".
Semi_Interested 3
That man obviously knows whats up. Take it as a compliment.
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Comments (176)
Semi_Interested 3
That man obviously knows whats up. Take it as a compliment.
iiTsAJ 5
Looks like you have a fan
howdeedoo 22
A somewhat creepy fan.
LolFMLnot 10
He sounds awesome
DrDilllonReese 12
This isn't even FML, you get to live your life knowing that you and your beard are desirable!
cayytee 0
you should have leaned in for a kiss...see how he would feel then.
notjustanybody20 9
you should have held his penis & said i love you too! :D
BMASE 4
Must be the herpes in the air.
mugu 0
Lol yea
thejewishfuhrer 17
Did you say I love you too? Gotta spread the love y'all. People killing, people dying. Children hurt me to hear their crying. Where is the love?
maddylovesu 5
wouldve been more funny if OP was a girl
SHORTstopp99 5
Creepy, a girl made this comment...
236schertzi 1
Nope, you're stupid.
kill_me_now7 2
Awesome XD
Rhysviri 10
I wonder if OP is Seneca Crane?
BarakatsBurrito 7
I didn't even see that you wrote Ke$ha until The song got stuck in my head because of your comment...curse you!!!!
The_creator_fml 2
Sounds like a hairy situation... Yes I just did that.
jizzwold 21
Alas poor creator I knew thee well
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Grab his face, compliment it, then utter "but we cannot be together".
rubberduckie94 13
I do not think any other comments need to be made after this one. It ca not get any better than this one.
Forlorn420 9
This comment defeats all others. Period
rainbowkissies 14
i love this.
summergirl08 0
This made my day
jaredofmo 22
Yes!
Jiinxx 8
A+
heitwl 1
Take the complement and then file the I love you under dimentia.
RedPillSucks 33
or "restraining order"
Sexy_Smurf 16
That has absolutely cheered up my day! Funny sh*t.... take the compliment ;o) xx
gurly98 13
Wow it made my day also :-)
noto_fml 0
Exactly That men obviously realises a great beard when he sees one. Good looks to you for sporting and crafting such a great masterpiece.
KatherineAnne 7
My brother is so jealous my boyfriend who is over two years younger than him can grow a full beard. Men appreciate their beards!!
X_Codes 11
Yes, you should. He wants to initiate the ancient, dwarven mating ritual with you!
snowmount07 6
There were probaly birds using OPs beard as a nest and the crazy guy was rubbing them, then said he loves because you take care of the birds
kalgon 0
Uhhhhh.........
kcsm1995 0
what about his birds? ;)
Primal 1
Family guy!
outch_fml 0
Badass
mitchossimpants 4
You're a lucky bastard
gurly98 13
Gaymen (amen)!!!!
ClassyCommando 13
My beard's not big enough to grab, so i can't have an amazing broment like that. :(
SkoomaKi 28
That's so bromantic, but very creepy at the same time..
spaerro 8
Plot twist: OP is a girl
Heinousness 0
No, he's a dude. Sorry to disappoint you
akallaan 7
Did he call you Santa and wanna sit on your lap?
BrysGirl27 14
Haha giggady;P
Mitcha857 0
Yea... THATS not awkward.
GawdamitNappa 4
Unnecessary sarcasm is unnecessary.
irrevelant 10
so is repeating yourself repeating
redmane 21
14 - Hey, I applaud you for giving a crack at the art of sarcasm. It's a start. I kid, I kid. Or do I? Not really. No.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
^ daaaaaamn