Turned on

Lost in the sauce

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

Today, I wrote a song for my boyfriend on paper. The first thing he did was correct my grammar. FML

Excuuuuuuse me?

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

Bad sign

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

It's pronounced Renesmée

Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML

Side dick

Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML

What is it?

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML