Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?
lex1459 38
How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"
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Comments (102)
fivehuskies 6
Bro, my ******* condolences. That hurts my dick just thinking about it
myanichole 22
If it's hurting or uncomfortable you have to say it. We usually don't know unless told.
dannnngthatsux 19
Fair warning on intercourse...same thing can happen if she's not wet enough. The friction causes burns and bleeding. This is why, in addition to making her happy, foreplay is necessary. Be careful out there people.
WhoCouldIBe 11
1-it's obviously possible and happens if you don't use lube. 2 what was she thinking going that rough? And 3 how old are you? 12?
Sp4wn 17
I cringed
thehellisthis 12
Lube up next time
Benny_Boi 9
Ugh, did she snap your banjo? Happened to me once, whilst drunk.. woke up the next day, blood everywhere, if it wasn't for the searing pain I was experiencing, we would have still thought it was her period.. I feel your paid.
hayleybee44 12
Hulk smash! Ouch ? I'm sorry OP!
LordOfCheese 10
C R I N G E