Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?
lex1459 38
How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"
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Comments (102)
lovelyvampire 16
I don't even have a penis, yet I just cringed... imagining that is not something I want to do..
Gib31 19
I'm sure this was her first handjob too... Poor OP I hope you're alright!
Invictus_Anima 5
I cringed a little when I read this. But communication is important, especially during sexual activity of any kind. You should have told her she was causing you more pain than pleasure. Still, I'm sorry that happened to you OP.
Abhinow 7
my groin spasmed reading this. fyl op for actually suffering it
xxlittlemsanime 24
Damn. I don't even have one and that hurts me.
ballbags 14
Bro break up with her. Imagine what the teeth will do to you when she finaly puts her lips on it.
150493x 29
Or he could just talk to her about it.
Scarylizard1798 23
This frightens be enough to not want to get a handjob
abNormal62 23
It's possible she was a virgin, and the only comparable experience she could draw upon for guidance was that summer she spent on her grandma's dairy farm. Some cows can be hard to milk and she was determined to finish what she started. It's udderly possible.....
SarcasticShade 16
Yeah, I've milked cows and there is no way it would feel go if you did it the same way.
babyblueyes 27
Handjob?? Wait people still do those?
minagiv 11
Sounds like there was no lubricant. Aw, sweetie... Next time, either buy some lube, use some lotion, or even use some olive oil from the kitchen!