Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with flowers and dinner reservations for our one-year anniversary. She looked confused and said, “Wait, we’re counting from the first time we hung out?” It turns out she thought we were still “just talking.” She also has a boyfriend. It’s not me. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML
Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML
Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML
Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML
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Top comments
ohmandapants 17
What an ungrateful bitch. I wouldn't take that bullshit if I were you.
fanceh 10
That's when you take the shit back, hand her a breadstick and tell her to wait in the ******* car while you enjoy your dinner.
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Comments (456)
MrSaxMan 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well... Get her a real gift!!!
chester75 5
materialistic much...
fanceh 10
That's when you take the shit back, hand her a breadstick and tell her to wait in the ******* car while you enjoy your dinner.
judices 0
I ain't saying she a gold digger "BUT IM IN NEED"
brianjman14 23
#1, he doesn't have to give her anything. Gifts aren't an obligation towards an anniversary of dating.
SystemofaBlink41 27
He already gave her the real gift, dumbass! Captain Obvious ruins the joke again!
zachherbert 10
I would of resonded to her, "Oh, your real gift? Well you get to pay the bill for tonight. Happy anniversary."
i_amthe_walrus 0
22- I am! Bitch ain't nothin' but a gold digga..
Gtfo_Troll 0
Pull the good 'ol go to the bathroom and don't come back trick.
Keyman1212 14
Tell her your gift is your time, and seeing as time=money and you've spent a year on her, that's a lot of money.
Daralea 21
I wonder what the girlfriend gave OP.
obnum 19
awww it was so romantic. OP's gf doesnt need a "real" gift. that one came from the heart, and if she didnt like it, she shouldnt get any gift
Renesaga 8
That's when OP takes a napkin, writes "You're single!" on it, gives it to her, and says "This is my gift to myself!"
c00lguy89 1
I'm with number 1. That isn't s gift. Get her something useful, what would she do sit flowers.
wals2537 1
You're a bitch
Gtfo_Troll 0
Should've made her walk home. Or take the bus.
neveragain234 1
ask: "you're gift? it's tine for MY gift" then pull down your pants and demand a ******* in the middle of the restaurant
bitchslapped22 14
This is why some girls are some real bitches, they say they want a sweet, romantic guy then would take a necklace over everything OP gave her.
Randuhh_17 4
I kinda wanna punch her in the face... I wish my boyfriend would do that for me
StopDropNRoll 11
Hey keyman can I get the conversion ratio from time to money. Cause there is some people I spend time on and I need to cash in.
nightfire2258 24
220 Marry me
amayasoma 19
If my boyfriend did all that, I would fall in love with him all over again. Your girlfriend is a selfish bitch. Obviously she is just with you for the money and the gifts. FYL man. Try finding a better girl.
jerilyn333a 0
I thought that's what every girl wants in a guy and once they have that guy they want more
icebluek 2
a
icebluek 2
aaaaa
icebluek 2
的风格的风格
TurnpikeTwister 0
**** that noise son, OP's a class act and did good by her; besides, what'd she get him?
RedJester23 6
Write that bitch a sonnet Bitches love sonnets
primadonna9396 16
19 hit the nail on the head. I hope you got her meal in a doggy bag and ate it for lunch, after dumping the bitch.
ck11_fml 1
some women get mad if you get them impersonal expensive gifts. some women get mad if you get them inexpensive personal gifts. either make sure you've got your girl down cold or give a mix of both.
rinkagamine_fml 9
I kinda wanna punch her in the face because it's bitches like these who take up all the decent guys and leave the douchebags for the rest of us.
ohmandapants 17
What an ungrateful bitch. I wouldn't take that bullshit if I were you.
Brooke2198 2
AGREED!
ohmandapants 17
I couldn't edit so: what OP did was really thoughtful and sweet. I wish my ex had done half as much.
fthislyfe 22
I don't know why but good guys end up with bitches. Leaving us good girls alone :(
juliahockey 0
I'd love roses and a poem! What an ungrateful bitch.
zombicidal 11
some people Just want material objects and feel cheated if they don't get anything else
Buttsexpirate 9
Haha I got you a break up letter. It starts with *clears throat* 'you greedy bitch'.
Blissfull_Sin 7
Time for a new girlfriend leave that materialistic chic Alone... It will only get worst
mnwv 3
I did just about the something for my ex gf on Sunday and she did the same thing, mate that's when you break up with them
cheefer 0
You don't deserve her. Obviously you've never been a pimp.
Palirose 22
Dump her, she's obviously NOT worth any of the things you did for her. None of the guys I've ever dated never even bought me one rose. Which is why they're all kicked to the curb. Find someone who will appreciate the romance. Don't waste anymore of your hard earned money on that slag.
GVirdi 11
90- good guys r where u left em :P in the friend zone xP
RussianFox 13
I hope you mean ex-girlfriend OP.
Awesomehobo44 3
Ya I kno im not a girl but I'd certainly take the cookies! Who doesn't love ******* cookies?
jessthebest3 0
"Where's my real gift?" "where's my real girlfriend?"
nikkij1988 0
Agreed!
aus1095 4
Poor guy.
mwarman 0
Gold digger, time to move on down the road.
Lulicah 3
I would be so ecstatic to have some one write a poem for me and buy me flowers! Poetry is beautiful. She's a bitch.
teentee401 37
Yeah, the OP did plenty.
angrymexican 8
That's messed up. Shes spoiled
mbishop94479 4
She wanted a ring. Not necessarily spoiled.
CryMoreFMLs 15
She's most likely a damn gold digger.
MizzErikaHart 8
If she was really a gold digger, she would be wanting a "real" gift way sooner than a yr...
Victoria125 15
She may not be spoiled it's possible that she had spent alot of money on OP for the present she gave him so was expecting a "real" present back. Although roses and cookies are cute butthey aren't really something she can keep to remember the day.
datguyuno 5
SHE JUST WANTS UR DICK! And 108- ur ******* retarded. getting married is a huge decision which you dont do after only 1 year
gators1995 30
OP I am sorry that your gf is an idiot
vibeplayer1112 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wait.,, who is the girlfriend in this story? Is it OP?
Turner_22 0
No. He took his girlfriend out to dinner.
geon_olam 17
pretty sure its op not literally, but if hes the one baking cookies...
VVeetard 8
#2 was inferring that op is like a girl.
2ndSucks 15
They both sound like stereotypical women to me.
RetardedChipmunk 7
I didn't know that being thoughtful meant you are a woman...
mrosew442 10
20- if my bf doesn't know how to bake a batch of cookies, I'm dumping his ass. and the rest of him too
onecrazybitch 0
#2.. Not sure if trolling..or just stupid..
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Op just tell her ur present is to let her give u A ********, then she will write to FML
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Hey, cut #2 some slack. Maybe OP's lesb?
MeleMallory 0
Actually, #77, #2 was *implying* that OP is a girl. You were inferring. #definitions
Gtfo_Troll 0
How is it even possible to read it as OP being the girlfriend? No matter how I read it, it always sounds the same. OP is quite obviously the boyfriend.
vibeplayer1112 0
Your picture describes my comment...
DrDilllonReese 12
202- NEVER again should you hashtag on FML. This isn't twitter...
foodlord 5
#2, a lot of ppl don't like ur comment LOL
fmlcurtain 4
#2: At least some of us understood your comment. I thumbed you up!
dre_bro11 12
83, why be stereotypical for? If a chick can do it, why can't a guy. And the other way around? Sometimes I pray for humanity. This is one of those times.
fatraptorjesus13 9
wow assholes like you give guys a bad name. just because he is sweet doesn't mean he's girly if anything it shows incredible confidence .
SomeRussianGirl 3
That's when you deep throat the ***** and ask if she likes that gift better.
Honest_Guy 10
#2 Lets be honest here, if your boyfriend bought you cookies, roses, and a poems, you'd be expecting a gift to back it all up...
Rosebuscus 0
i would have loved that!
tehrealone 6
How does one message another? Yes I know irrelevant.. Go ahead and rage at me if you agree ... But lonely people need company also FML and FYL OP
brianjman14 23
By going to their profile and clicking "Send a private message."
tehrealone 6
That's what I was thinking but I guess prob doesn't work on app, thanks
ant1078 7
You'd better have a well paying job! Good luck lol
max_wilder 9
You probably thought this was a comment, nope Chuck Testa
BigHoshJosh 0
Mayne **** getting a job! Tell her you got a new lover and that's mw3! **** off bitchhhh!!
brianjman14 23
What a ******* greedy bitch! If that were me, I would just be fine with the Italian restaurant, but you still gave her more, OP. Plus, you didn't even have to do anything for her. She should be thankful you even remembered.
GoodLookingGeese 10
You don't get it.. don't you?!! She must have some OTHER qualities..
clw1740 0
**** and ass shouldn't rule a relationship if those are the qualities you are speaking of.
eviIpotato 0
95, I don't get your sentence, "You do not get it.. Do not you?" what does that mean?
gotaphd 6
I guess he speaks fluent yoda, Other qualities, she must have, do not you think?
LifeOnBlast19 9
And that's when you whip out the pimp hand from behind your back and teach her a lesson on the importance of appreciation. :)
toalysium 15
Most awesome comment!
gators1995 30
Reminds me of the Boondocks in the episode a Pimp named Slickback lmao
davidisbeast 12
What a bitch .... She needs to learn to be more appreciative !
fowlerplague 3
A public break up is in order.
Youngnut18 6
Humiliation!
LN666 2
hahahaha agreedddd