Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
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Top comments
snippyxD 7
Damn that sucks Dude but Face it.. Its just what kids Do!
SaraJun 5
lmao youre a dad named jasmine?
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Comments (188)
gatorsfan100 1
I'm prettyyy sure that's illegal haha:)
SenoraTaco 4
This was on FunnyJunk :D epic!
maggiewalters 17
You are disgusting.
justinlee13 3
who would let their son see their dad'd penis? i mean seriously... he grabbed it so... are you trying to turn him gay? haha
piwikiwi93 0
Now you pee like a 19 month old kid. But I gotta say kudos for the idea
chrono420 3
Hes 19 months old. Every kid that age will grab at anything strange or unknown. Keys, string, hair.....penises.... it would be like bringing your dog in to watch and him biting you right in the crotch. Also no way will he ever remember it lol. Even the most intelligent people only recall memory's from around 3 or 4 at best, i think mine was 5 or 6. At his age your still not getting object permanence, so yea your grabbing some weird looking thing at eye level shooting liquid out of the front for sure. hell i bet hes not even aware of his OWN package at this point.
chrono420 3
At 1 1/2 you might have tiny faded fragments of a particularly impacting event such as almost drowning, but nothing you could clearly recall. To put it in perspective, dolphins have about a 5 year old humans intelligences, so you can imagine what we are like at 1 or 2.
HahahaStupid 0
When I first read this I read it as a 19 years old. Lol! I was like wtf?!
Lamiri 1
Someday you'll look back on this, laugh, and then tell the story to your son's girlfriend, who will then post it on here.
Krazygye 0
he grabbed ur...(cough) gay son
weezz3675 0
R. Kelly would be proud of you....LOL. Don't sweat it man kids are so unpredictable.