Today, my girlfriend punched me in the face, then broke up with me because apparently she'd proved that I’m a pussy who won’t stand up for myself or fight back if attacked, so if we were robbed on the street, she wouldn’t trust me to protect her. What kind of logic is this? Good riddance, psycho. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend flipped out and dumped me. According to her, not stopping for a dog in the road makes me a sociopath and unsuitable for a relationship. Yes, because slamming on my brakes or swerving into the next lane while doing 75 on the highway and causing a wreck made so much more sense. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my uncle was showing the scars he got fighting a wolf in defence of his wife. On the drive home, my girlfriend dumped me because she could never see me being man enough to fight a wolf for her. She made me stop the car so she could catch a bus back to her mom's house and never see me again. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
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Top comments
randybryant799 21
You are absolutely correct. Good riddance psycho.
AzraelAngelus 15
I’d press charges against her
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Comments (8)
randybryant799 21
You are absolutely correct. Good riddance psycho.
AzraelAngelus 15
I’d press charges against her
RichardPencil 32
Impeccable logic, pussy.
leogs23 25
Sounds like my ex-wife
D J's MOM 17
toxic nut job, BYE BYE
Glitterbaby2613 20
press charges for assault, you'll win, see how she likes that
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What kind of logic is this? Well, in her mind, it's her logic of making up an excuse to break off the relationship. But yeah, you're definitely better off without her, and kudos for realizing it.