Today, my girlfriend flipped out and dumped me. According to her, not stopping for a dog in the road makes me a sociopath and unsuitable for a relationship. Yes, because slamming on my brakes or swerving into the next lane while doing 75 on the highway and causing a wreck made so much more sense. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was driving on a busy highway when she slammed on the brakes, causing a multi-car accident. She then ran across several lanes, almost getting smashed by a truck, because she thought she saw a dog in the road. It was already dead. Insurance is gonna be a nightmare. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML
Today, my girlfriend punched me in the face, then broke up with me because apparently she'd proved that I’m a pussy who won’t stand up for myself or fight back if attacked, so if we were robbed on the street, she wouldn’t trust me to protect her. What kind of logic is this? Good riddance, psycho. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML
Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind and yanked my car's e-brake while we were on the highway. Why? Because I said I wasn't really interested in having kids. Guess I'll cross that relationship off as a "hell no". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
To everyone else in these comments: If you suddenly swerve or brake while doing *75mph/120kmh on the highway*, you’re going to lose control of your vehicle. Best-case scenario, you’re going to wreck your car or seriously injure a minimum of one person; the more likely scenario is that you’re going to cause a multi-car pileup and probably kill somebody.
Bogrbon 27
In this version of the trolley problem you do nothing and kill a dog or do something and quite possible kill yourself, your girlfriend or another random motorist. It’s the right thing to do, even if it is really kind of sucky.
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Comments (10)
Shzusuziq11 12
So you just ran it over? I'd ditch your ass also!
phile 15
Too bad you can't since your most likely dead if you tried otherwise
slhiggx 17
You’re skipping the part where you say the dog was okay. Which meant it wasn’t. And honestly she is the one saying good riddance. You are just an ass.
mike3775 39
By the phrasing, it seems that you simply hit the poor dog. I would dump you as well.
tiptoppc 21
Why is the dog in the middle of a highway though? People run over squirells and don’t say that. But no dog should be mid-75mph highway.
RichardPencil 32
You are a sociopath who is unsuitable for a relationship, Incel.
Anderling 33
To everyone else in these comments: If you suddenly swerve or brake while doing *75mph/120kmh on the highway*, you’re going to lose control of your vehicle. Best-case scenario, you’re going to wreck your car or seriously injure a minimum of one person; the more likely scenario is that you’re going to cause a multi-car pileup and probably kill somebody.
mike3775 39
Not true at all. I have dash am video of me swerving to avoid being hit by an idiot semi driver who decided to change lanes without bothering to look first at 80mph, and I didn’t lose control of my vehicle, all with a wife and 5 kids all screaming bloody murder at the same time
Yudith 28
How about going slower? Most highways have a 65 mph maximum.
mike3775 39
LOL. You ever consider if you did the speed limit in Lake County Indiana on Interstate 80/94 aka Borman Expressway), which is 55 mph, you will get run over by EVERYONE. No one in Northwest Indiana drives the speed limit on that highway. Hell, even the state police will not pull you over for speeding, unless you obviously stand out against traffic. I drive with the flow of traffic, if it’s 80, I keep up, if it’s 35, I do 35. 80 is about the fastest I will go on a highway though.
clair_brodie 35
I don't know where you live but the freeway where I live are 75-85 depending on what part of the state you're in. What a very unhelpful comment.
tiptoppc 21
He in Nebraska, 75 is tops. I heard there’s 85 in texas, maybe more.
Bogrbon 27
In this version of the trolley problem you do nothing and kill a dog or do something and quite possible kill yourself, your girlfriend or another random motorist. It’s the right thing to do, even if it is really kind of sucky.
QueenSaru 28
Nowhere does it say OP ran it over? It sounds like the dog was on the side of the road and OP couldn't just STOP on a high speed road to get it.
It_gets_better 20
If it was on the side of the road, OP shouldn't have had to swerve... so the fact that they're saying they wouldn't swerve means it was in the road.
QueenSaru 28
I assumed it was an abrupt swerve to change lanes/pull off. But either way, he's not in the wrong. Driving instructors will specifically tell you not to swerve/avoid animals because it's safer to hit them rather than introduce risk by losing control of your vehicle.
Nikki 17
If you were as unsympathetic as you currently sound after hitting a dog you deserve to be dumped, at the very minimum you have to be upset about it otherwise I’d be worried about what else you could hurt without caring
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I mean, I'm completely against anyone who hurts an animal. My husband has hit multiple deer and I always feel bad about that, but I also realize that it's unavoidable at times. If you can avoid an animal, you should.
D J's MOM 17
I would have safely turned around to try to help the poor thing