Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
FlamingTacos 7
Tomorrow she'll be telling you how to do taxes.
skyeyez9 25
"Yay, mommy went potty!"
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Comments (119)
polkadot10125 3
that.is.so.cute.
KatieKupcake4195 9
I got food poisoning from school lunch when I was about 11. My mom freaked because she thought I was throwing up blood. Nope. It was just.. You know, I'm really not too sure what it was that I ate at that horrible school. But jeez.. I was soooo sick >.< Sorry, OP. Get better soon
AliceLockehart 18
That's super cute :)
salma92_fml 0
That's soooo freaking adorable tho!!! Lol
hateevryone 15
That's cute though. She just trying to help.
pinkpixie06 11
Oh My Gosh!! So cute!
TrentF13 12
That's kinda cute. :) I hope that when I become a daddy, my daughter is that cute too. But, as stated before, and from previous experience with at least 10 different kinds of it, food poisoning sucks gonads. I hope you feel better soon.
mfayem 15
No matter how bad the urge is, I can always make it to the toilet. YDI
skittlesmeep 4
LOL.. thats too funny
Ugi 27
I feel for you OP, but that's just too cute for words.