Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
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Top comments
enough4 0
"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"
aback 5
Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.
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Comments (174)
enough4 0
"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"
NoIAmSerious 0
hahah i like this.
Lolitia 4
the fact that you don't know these tips/tricks already is the real FML. . . .
GodOfBeer 5
Will, just watch the willy and STFU lol
yirrare 0
Blast it with piss!
catkat1988 17
lol, having shared an apartment with three guys for three years, I've learned all about how to erase unwanted writings/drawings with permanent markers from refridgerators/whiteboards. The others are right about their advise, all of the above stated methods will work. Other than that, I find your room mates initiative and timing rather amusing.
joossm10 0
Mr. Clean magic erasers would be the first thing I'd try
Maygen 5
Mr. clean magic erasers are actually kinda amazing... :D
itsme88 0
That was I was going to suggest. It will take it right off.
LilaBear 2
now why would you use perfume to remove it when metho and kero are heaps cheaper and still do the job?? Edit: FML is being retarded again. This reply was not meant for this comment. Soz!
gizzy_A 0
just use nail polish remover.. itll come rite off ...
polico_wolf 0
And where would they have nail polish remover?
john_cena_fml 0
Well, if they didn't have any they could buy some.
mickyblueeyes 0
YDI for being too retarded to clean it off.
edgeofhysteria 0
omg, a drawn penis. dramatic.
perdix 31
What's the big deal? I've had to look at giant red penis everyday for my whole life! That's because it is attached to me! Heh-heh-heh. Just kidding, ladies, don't get too excited. . . it's actually more of a purple. ;)
ArbiterOfFML 24
I liked due to our ongoing history.