Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML
Today, I had to do a still life of a pillowcase for my drawing class. To make up for bad grades I've gotten before, I followed my professor's directions to a T. He took 19 points off because I drew the background when no one else did. We have to do it for every piece. FML
Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML
Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mario2012 18
Your friend is a dick.
kait11 16
I... Would draw a penis on their forehead in their sleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
mario2012 18
Your friend is a dick.
friedpwnadge 25
It must have taken some balls to do the entire book.
HortonThelephant 15
You leave Gary out of this you dirty Minge you
Wimoweh 10
No, not really, my friend drew one on my arm with sharpie and it washed off after a few showers. Permanent markers don't work well on skin. But I do hear they're quite useful on fabric...make an effort to draw a penis on the front of every shirt of your "friend."
Gvfell 9
That was quite the dick move.
DK_91 9
not when the friend isn't responsible for the book
rock4climber 9
what a great friend
lilhellian 27
What? Where does it mention "girlfriend"?
Wizardo 34
One learn to read and two its sarcastic, today's education right?
lilhellian 27
His comment originally said girlfriend. Just to clear up some confusion.
rock4climber 9
Her comment but I thought it said girlfriend but then I re read it was friend so i quickly changed it I guess not fast enough though lol
Wizardo 34
Oh OK, my bad for jumping to them ninja conclusions, go mena sai.
kait11 16
I... Would draw a penis on their forehead in their sleep.
VampireBiter 7
In the strongest most permanent marker on the market, Amazon market.
andyyroxx 20
"Marker on the market". Market the markers from the marketing marker community to purchase markers specially developed to target a certain marker market.
maosquare 18
Once, my friend couldn't manage to entirely wash off all the sharpie penises on her face. It was very difficult not to crack up in my seminars listening to her discuss deep philosophical issues, let alone take her seriously.
SuperSofie 23
Get him to buy the person you lent it from a new book. Very mature behaviour..
Jlow17 4
It has to be returned to the teacher....
Julianne_sings 10
Just try and white some of them out. If that doesn't work, maybe just tell your teacher that they were in the book when you get it? Regardless of if you get in trouble or not, your friend is still an asshole.
Dracoboxer357 36
6- Here's an idea: tell the person you're returning it to the Truth. :p The book was vandalized, you're sorry it happened, offer to replace, and slap your "friend" with the bill to do so. Easy and honest.
Julianne_sings 10
17, that works in theory. But in my experience, most teachers don't care exactly what happened to it. If it was vandalized in your possession, it's your problem.
Dracoboxer357 36
17- Which doesn't change my advice nor the end result. I've ruined a textbook before, I apologized for it and I replaced it, and it wasn't really an issue, becausr you're right, the teacher didn't care. What I didn't do was
Dracoboxer357 36
****, sorry, I'll try that again. :p What I didn't do was try to cover it up or deny it happened while in my care. There's more intregity in accepting responsibility, and handling it like the adults some of them wish we will become. ;) (Not saying you Aren't one, btw. Nothing personal!) :)
Dracoboxer357 36
Every page? That's a lot of penis, your friend at least shows dedication to his/her obsession of the male anatomy. ;) Very impressive, if not a touch OCD.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Ah- yet another User of OCD as an adjective! What a great way to wake up on a Sunday. ~_~ *back to my den where pet peeves get molested by Beethoven.*
BlueFlatts 20
It's just D. For dick, douche, driven, and any other word your more open and creative mind might have come up with.
Wizardo 34
Tell the teacher what happened and hopefully he'll clamp down in your friends bell end.
smiliecat 13
White out! Tell your teacher (or whoever is getting it) something spilled and it looked messy.
Pro_Nothing 9
Something spilled only a tiny blotch on every page of a textbook?
andyyroxx 20
The penis could be massive—this being a possibility might make your suggestion useless.
smiliecat 13
I was homeschooled. Slightly unsure of your public/normal school textbooks, but I'm sure they come in varying page lengths as mine did.
ilianaaa 8
if the drawings were small vs big, more than likely I don't think anyone will notice. plus when they checkout your books, usually they don't even open it, just past the hard cover to scan it, that's it. well for me at my school
Doxy 22
It will make an unusual surprise for the student that gets the textbook next year.
hama806 19
Your friend drew a self portrait of himself on every page? What an egomaniac!