Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
enough4 0
"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"
aback 5
Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (174)
brinnybear 0
permanent marker comes off
Seyral 0
rubbing alcohol will take it off
giani73 0
nail polish remover!!
mikk 3
Paint all refrigerator in red
EmoKidsFail 0
nail polish remover.
cokegrlly 0
Toothpaste also works wonders at getting permanent marker off.
cruidzoid 0
use acetone (it's the compound in nail polish remover that everyone's recommending) permanent marker is only permanent when you use water (it comes off really well when you use another solvent)
davek 36
Isopropanol?
whowantsacookie 0
spray it with hairspray let it dry for a few seconds and wipe it with a damp rag, it gets it off without melting your sinuses like nail polish remover does
nefarious61 0
Roommates suck. You should draw one on his face in permenant marker while he's sleeping. Or, you know, clean it off your fridge. Permenant doesn't nessecarily mean "permenant" if you know what to use.