Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML
Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, I bought a desk for my new apartment. After ignoring the warnings on the box saying it should not be carried alone, I made it all the way to my apartment with the desk. I walked in the door and dropped it on my foot. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML
Today, I kicked my coffee table while barefoot, got an X-ray, and I’d cracked the bone. Got home, kicked the exact same table with the exact same toe, got another X-ray, the crack is now a full-on break. What a day. FML
Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML
Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
The disturbing part is WHY? Why would he want to make life more difficult for you, or him?
FluffythePink 23
******* bell end. 🫂 I'm sorry you married an idiot. I hope he's so sorry he'll even be a foot stool for you. If not, a fair amount (maybe 2 little bottles to one bottle of red wine) of red food colouring in a red drink will give him a nasty surprise when he starts 'pissing blood'. Hey, you saw it on the internet 🤷
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Comments (3)
JasonThorn 23
The disturbing part is WHY? Why would he want to make life more difficult for you, or him?
Wadlaen 24
Ah, so it works, I've wondered about that, thanks for testing it!
FluffythePink 23
******* bell end. 🫂 I'm sorry you married an idiot. I hope he's so sorry he'll even be a foot stool for you. If not, a fair amount (maybe 2 little bottles to one bottle of red wine) of red food colouring in a red drink will give him a nasty surprise when he starts 'pissing blood'. Hey, you saw it on the internet 🤷