Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
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Top comments
enough4 0
"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"
aback 5
Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.
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Comments (174)
_Niccc_13 0
ah, life. ^.-
samich_rocks101 0
finger nail polish remover getts it off really well
xxcheeseizlifexx 1
thats actually kinda sweet and funny lighten up dbag
blue_angel 0
Um, there's no way you're allowed to keep that up for a year and a half. You had better tell your landlord or the school (depending on if you live in an apartment or dorm) about this so you aren't stuck with the bill.
abcdefghijklmnop_fml_fml 0
OK TRUST ME I GET PERMANENT MARKER EVERYWHERE!!!!US EXPO AND TRACE OVER IT THEN WIPE IT OFF!!!! I PROMISE IT WILL WORK
GodOfBeer 5
OK TRUST ME I HAVE A KEYBOARD, YOU HIT YOUR DAMN CAPSLOCK :D :D
afarr 0
alcohol dude.
Courtyen 3
Okay, I agree with every single comment here that says how to get it off, but I don't understand why everyone here seems to need to repeat what the first twenty people said. There are 116 comments here, and 100 of them are pointless repeats. Sure, put your opinion in if you want, but only if it isn't there already!
hellokinky2 0
haha
nootepie 5
Same happend to me, only it was with a ceiling and paint.
Lov3rGirL 0
I think this is an epic win for your roomates :) and just a fail for you cuz it's easy to get off. use nail polish remover :)