Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
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Top comments
frozenfreeze 5
That was a corny joke...
bigred7070 0
how did you know it was "sweet" corn. lol
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Comments (154)
thorparker 0
I'm so sorry T_T
greenorange75 8
How'd you know it was SWEETcorn? Oho!
MissCuteStack 12
little shitty kids
cheering247 1
Actually! No you don't drain the pool first. You get everything out and then you add tons of chemicals (chlorine and shock) and then people can't swim for awhile. I'm a lifeguard and I work at a small pool and it's only happens once in the baby pool but a friend if mine works at a huge pool and it happened like 5 days in a row. You guys are stupid if you think you drain the pool. HELLOOO that's what chemicals are for!
irritatedone 5
Op how do you know what kind of corn it was? Wait maybe I don't want to know.
NDiesal10 2
Salute the kernel
imcharp 5
Yowza that's just nasty. You'll never look at corn ever again.
arielzbkny 0
How do u know the corn was sweet?
lauraaaaaa_fml 7
OP I feel so sorry for you! I guess all jobs have their downsides though. And to everybody that's asking how OP knew it was sweetcorn, that is what we call corn (the vegetable) in England. And if you had read the comments rather than repeating the same question as about twenty other people, you would see that this had already been explained. Sorry for the rant, but ignorant people infuriate me.
goofygirl27 0
That sucks I hope you get paid enough though :/