Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Justkidding100 41
this is honestly the best case scenario for ******** yourself
Ubehage 32
LOL. It have to be said: This is hilarious! That said, FYL. Shit happens. At least it was in the sea.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Ubehage 32
LOL. It have to be said: This is hilarious! That said, FYL. Shit happens. At least it was in the sea.
HateCelebz 10
I laugh at it now, I told my work colleagues and they found it hilarious too. it also felt liberating at the time lol
ibjho 2
you were swimming in a sea of shit
Justkidding100 41
this is honestly the best case scenario for ******** yourself
Tisinlovewithme 2
poop attracts sharks btw
HateCelebz 10
its in england we dont get sharks
RichardPencil 32
Whether you shat yourself or not, you were swimming in the shit of every fish, dolphin and whale in the sea. It's a good idea to shower even if you do have control of your bowels.
Zebediabolical 45
Never forget. Fish **** in water. :D