Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML
Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML
Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
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Top comments
01100110 0
YDI, don't touch other people's cars.
KeithHarris 0
You could always tell him the car told you to do it.
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Comments (88)
Ktulu 0
great joke, though
bleedforMayheM 0
no its a pathetic over used joke
kattycakes 0
Maybe next time you should check for passengers first? ;)
mlipro 0
Lol, I was in a parking lot with my friends and there was a really shitty car with it's engine sticking out through the hood. My friend walks up, says 'Look at this piece of shit.' and sticks his gum right on the motor. Two seconds later, this huge guy jumps out of the passenger's seat. My friend jumped like 3 feet in the air because he didn't notice the guy in the car. Then the guy in the car started chasing us. It was ******* hilarious because the guy was so fat and we were all on our school's track team.
Kyuubi1589 1
74 - Cool story bro, tell it to someone who cares ;D
missbadluk 0
Ooooooor not take the liberty of touching other people's cars.
Darth_Taco 14
Considering that it was the driver that got out, you probably could've seen through the front. Should've checked there before doing that. At least you know better now...I hope. :P
KeithHarris 0
You could always tell him the car told you to do it.
HahaYDI 0
Win
mastermadman 0
Whoops! I guess you could offer to wash his car for him. That would be fitting. If I were the driver, I just laugh it off.
24788 7
It's tempting to do that to a dirty car.
nlite 0
there's always the classic 'i wish my wife was this dirty'
acro_actress95 0
LOL yah, you should have looked through the front. And if the car was so dirty why would you trace your hand through the dirt on it? That's actually kinda gross. LOL #6
01100110 0
YDI, don't touch other people's cars.
Rasnosaur 0
Lesson learned..don't touch other people's car