Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
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Top comments
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Urine trouble now OP
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's nasty as hell! Sorry OP
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Comments (93)
yeti37 16
golden showers...
Enslaved 38
Don't you know? It is urine. It's meant for you to freak out and try to get him away from your car quickie. What better way than to hand him money and shoo him away?
Enslaved 38
*quickly haha
perdix 31
Good thing your sense of smell isn't sharp enough to detect the scents of semen and shit.
Eaglenation7 2
i would have fought the bum for spraying me with piss!
TheFirstSamurai 18
How cheap do you think houses are? And I don't think people would pay you just to watch their windows.
HortonThelephant 15
I wonder if his secret to a streak free finish is the ammonia..
sarah6786 14
So the window was wide open and he just walked over and sprayed you in the face with urine or other terrible substance? FYL
perdix 31
Most hobos are roamin'.
thefella 10
42 - I agree I would never pay someone to watch my windows, that's just silly.
doglover100 29
That's nasty.