Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
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Top comments
soozjw 2
Could have been worse, you could be the one that has to clear it up lol
intensitive 11
On the escalator of all places..
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Comments (106)
Fumblez 0
excellent job officer blart(mall cop)/Ronnie(observe and report). BTW who Is snickerdoodle or spelling Nazi
Gobsnoglin 0
You should have starting singing "Mary had a little lamb" at the top of your voice, stripped down to your underwear and started rolling around in it. Then go home and wait for your 15 minutes of Youtube fame.
tejg 0
fake..... Wet floor signs security guard?
DreamerofWorlds 0
A wet floor sign wouldn't do any good here. Those are so people proceed with caution when walking through newly mopped areas. If there's something like shit on the floor, someone needs to make sure that people don't proceed at all.
indigodemigod 0
wow. grow a pair.
KurouTenshi 0
If it got on the escalator did you have to get back on and off the steps to follow it, over and over again?
kas782000 0
security guards protect poop at the mall lmmfao
did_it_4_lulz 0
FYL. And I thought my retail job was shitty.
Anteezy 7
At least you didn't have to clean it.
delaney16 0
ok mermaid he wasn't turned on by crap u have sick thoughts
Awixis 0
Make the person who "shat" there clean it up. that's beyond disgusting