Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
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Top comments
soozjw 2
Could have been worse, you could be the one that has to clear it up lol
intensitive 11
On the escalator of all places..
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Comments (106)
talliscool26 0
1st hahahahahah
dota_pwnage 7
I would have just said ef it if they wanna step in it without looking down, go ahead... people have been stepping in animal shat forever so what's the difference now??? XD
Tripout 0
OP don't be selfish. JUST THINK ABOUT HOW THAT OTHER PERSON MUST FEEL WITH SHIT RUNNIN DOWN THIER LEG
shitbrix 0
shoulda went to a store an bought a mop
glen12 0
who?
ButtNekked 0
#10 They deserved it... they where the ones who shat there pants
iAlwaysYDI 0
YDI for having a shitty job.
fueledbyshar 0
Paul Blart doesn't take care of shat pants. It's his mall, remember?
WhatANoob 0
LOL 8 = WIN
cxsunn 0
@46 haha "shitty" job good one
eniiwa 0
@46: pun intended?
TuM_TuM 0
put melted chocolate next to it and wipe it up with your finger and eat it everyone will think yur eating poop lol
IDOLGIRL 0
better to be the person guarding the poop and not the person that has to clean up the poop
whitley1031 0
Heyy, SOMEONE'S gotta do it :P and ur right, it culd be worse bein th guy w shit in his shorts
GeoThermalSleuth 0
When your a Mall Cop, in a mall, being forced to watch Crap in an elevator, You know it's time to quit your Job. OP I'm sorry you had to go through that, but now is the time you act like a Man and Quit your job.
sc95060sc 0
at least u didn't have to clean it up
juscreablu 0
@ #46 niceee I was so thinking that OP, at least you didn't have to clean it up!!
vrock 0
today, i was at the mall and shit all over the escalator. as limped away some dorky mall cop gave me a dirty look. FML
XYZzzzzzzz 0
Thats... new. honestly it may be worse to be the dude with crap in his pants though, at least you got paif
skullcandifiedDJ 5
1- You're a tool, get yourself a life please. Thanks
jamjelly386 5
hahahahahaha gross
Eddie_Paints 0
Lick it up,Mallcop!
intensitive 11
On the escalator of all places..
soozjw 2
Could have been worse, you could be the one that has to clear it up lol
null_fml 11
That's what I was thinking too. And presumably he only had to stand there long enough for the janitor to get there, right?
rider12 0
you deserve it because it's ur job and who cares you didn't have to touch it harden up
XDNurse 0
hilarious image
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Admit it, you were turned on :]
Ajjas013 6
Gay. He got a blumpkin :)
Peroxide 3
You can put that on your resume. "Secured pooped floor area". Jack Baur would be proud.
CYNNER 0
Ha ha. sucks to be you. too bad thats probably the most action your job gets
XR6Falcon 0
get a real job. Then you won't have to guard shit!
confused2010 0
lol.