Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
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Top comments
soozjw 2
Could have been worse, you could be the one that has to clear it up lol
intensitive 11
On the escalator of all places..
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Comments (106)
Imag1naryGirl 0
I think he's mostly upset for having to STAND. If someone had given fatty a chair, he wouldn't be complaining...
eniiwa 0
win
cooki3monst3r77 9
pooping feels good
mn_mpls 0
hahahahaha this comment made my day
ActionManly 11
Haha! More like F HIS life than yours!
aluminumfalcon 0
Sucks more for the guy who shit himself or the janitor who has to clean it up... but yeah, that blows.
dragonwarrior 3
So you had to guard shit at least it wasn't running down your pants but still kinda FYL
piinkbunnii 1
Wow, FYL because you're a mall cop, and FYL again because the mall you work at is too cheap to hire a janitor to clean the shit up. SMDH
Twi_lover_EC 6
FYL to the janitor or the guy who shit his pants. This also reminds me of this movie I watched called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell-this guy got explosive diarrhea and shit all over a hotel lobby.
dreambig22 0
Your fault for thinking you were top flight security, Mall Cop!
MadaZer0 8
Well shit happens~
Hiropon 0
I hope you weren't coming back from lunch...
perdix 31
When the janitor came with the order to get rid of a pile of shit, did he look at you guarding the steaming mound and radio back to mall HQ, "Which one?"
RFreedom 0
haha Exactly what i was thinking!!!!
RFreedom 0
But wittier.....
CallMeHush 1
Perdix FTW!
Tripout 0
ROFLMFAO cant top that XD
babybubz 0