Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Aww you to are already making decisions together! Haha don't fall too much in love you crazy kids it's only the first date.
abceasyas123abc 12
Maybe this was his way of escaping a bad date which was about to get worse?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
Buttsexpirate 9
Aww you to are already making decisions together! Haha don't fall too much in love you crazy kids it's only the first date.
gntfmlingnow 12
She must have been boring as hell for him to pull out an excuse like that.
LiveLaughFML 10
"i don't understand the handwriting." "they're Russian." "i don't care how fast they were going!"
abceasyas123abc 12
Maybe this was his way of escaping a bad date which was about to get worse?
actingbro 3
I'm using that next time I have a bad date lol
ChrisTheCalm 9
WTF? Time to leave ...
NomOnShroomz 14
WTF? Why would she leave her place?
max_wilder 9
WTF? Those magazines actually exist!
ChrisTheCalm 9
Yeah why would she do that. I was talking about leaving that guy. You're a moron.
Celesta 11
Well did you help him?
Abdul888 16
haha probably yeah just to act as if she didn't care.
sexylol_fml 4
I would of just picked the ugliest one!
melikesfml 11
44 nice pict. Straight off google images? Thats where my friend got that pict too
Fekenator 0
Hey, he's just looking for a good third in bed. Cut a guy some slack!
mishkaroni 15
That's always a sign the date went well
indistructo 3
look at OP's username lol
nonelikeworms 0
They have those? I have no idea how to get one.
saIty 17
"Ooo the one with the flamethrower looks nice!"
btnhdude 0
In russia, these jokes are new!