Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, like most days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice, but this time he brought this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family "brave" enough to go fetch our cat's gifts. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
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Top comments
americanLegion1 2
That sounds so horrific but for some reason I can't help but to giggle.
Psych101 9
I really doubt the "I like turtles" kid would have said that after watching this.
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Comments (197)
Spottedfeather 7
Why the hell would you give a mouse to a turtle ?
I_lost_the_game 25
Oh, I don't know, maybe so they can eat it?
thatlegit 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
83 & 38..... You don't feed mice to turtles ?!?!? How does that not make sense ?
Spottedfeather 7
Since when do turtles eat mice ? Certainly none that I've ever seen.
jizzwold 21
17, 99 and 154 are just stupid. Don't worry about it.
DocBastard 40
Nothing like a good mousecicle...so refreshing on a hot summer day!
MichellinMan 20
******* DELICIOUS
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't like you, tire guy. You look like a marshmallow thats been eating at McDonalds for a few years.
kittytub 12
I don't like you either, chipmunk. GET IN MY BELLY. -meow-
SqueakyChipmunk 22
**** no.
jizzwold 21
I like you, squeakers. You look like you get chipmunks high and I am all for that.
DarkHelmet 10
I didn't even know turtles ate mice
kikimonole 13
I don't think it was wise to give it to a turtle. I think throwing it away would've been the better option there. :C
Franorox 8
Easy to say now you know the result
Psych101 9
20- Thank you, Holly Hindsight.
verkaderk 9
Circle of life. Kids gotta figure it out anyways
Eternal94 10
I like ur picture .... i think this is the turtle that op was talking about.
SkoomaKi 28
Well OP, what did you expect? The turtles to get their miniature cutlery and plates out, and then eat it like Sir's?
katie1989 9
One will normally swallow it whole.
hailezz349 5
Thinn of it as teaching the kids a life lesson! But if the parents sue change your name to Pablo and move to Mexico!
I_lost_the_game 25
Why would the parents sue for a turtle eating a mouse? That seems a little stupid to me.
Myreaper8 2
Omg, this just reminded me of the gif of the snapping turtle ripping apart a live mouse. Don't google it, for the love of god.
Blackadder 14
I googled it.... Man I wish I didnt. That is the most disgusting thing i've ever seen.
joenuuuuu 0
Waste not bro great job you should be proud of youself!
TheDrifter 24
And this is why so many pet stores try to get all their morning feedings done before they open. Fewer chances to have crying children in the store.