Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, like most days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice, but this time he brought this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family "brave" enough to go fetch our cat's gifts. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
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Top comments
americanLegion1 2
That sounds so horrific but for some reason I can't help but to giggle.
Psych101 9
I really doubt the "I like turtles" kid would have said that after watching this.
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Comments (197)
dog1999 2
Oh no splinter!
loloalltheway 23
Poor mice !!!! Though i know that it's the circle of life and all but still ..:(
RedPillSucks 33
Not really. The mice had been previously frozen
loloalltheway 23
Well still killed ...
MegamiKaosu 28
While their babies they're frozen so they just go to sleep and freeze to death (some dog breeders do this if the puppy won't survive) Then the tail and feet are cut off so it's easier for smaller snakes to eat. Adult mice are prepped the same way but the feet and tail are intact. I work in a pet store too and I feed the snakes, kinda confused why OP did this on the sales floor. With my store it has to be done at night and in a back room.
perdix 31
"Kids, this is what really happened in 'The Hare and the Tortoise'. Any questions?"
Psych101 9
I'm sure you all remember this story from our childhood. The hare kept on taunting the tortoise and letting it get closer and closer. Then, the tortoise got close enough to pass the hare. Gosh, I'm sure you all know what happened next. The tortoise bit clean through the hare's left calf muscle and dragged him crying back to all the other tortoises where they devoured him. Goodnight, kids.
Blackadder 14
That's just gross..... and creepy!
perdix 31
As you wish, Noor. Sounds like a *lowers sunglasses* murine situation. Today, I finally got a mouse to eat. My ******* roommate insisted we share it. FML. In Soviet Russia, frozen mouse eats turtle. Ehhh, what's up, Doc? YOLO!
DocBastard 40
The death squads have been released. You both have approximately 17 minutes to live. May the Mighty FML Deity have mercy on your souls.
perdix 31
Oh, well, IOLO -- I only lived once :(
fmyaccount94 4
Well, it didn't go to waste. From that statement one can derive that the mouse was dead at the time. If it was alive it wouldn't go to waste if let be. Unfortunate with the children, but it's not enough for a Y.D.I. in my opinion.
Isoldael 27
It was dead. I don't know how many mice you've thawed and brought back to life recently...
ChibiChibi_fml 28
What you mean not everyone can thaw mice to life? *Hides box of shivering mice" Best keep these to myself then.
fmyaccount94 4
Oh, I guess I was being Swedish again. Happens every day.
arnepalmer11 1
Follow me on instagram! arne_palmer111
SquishFish 15
I'm still giggling in a horrified way. The visual of this scenario is priceless
BellaMarta 19
Why would you feed it to turtles they're vegetarians!!!
Danni_04 13
No they're not.
FuzzyJack 15
If they really are vegetarians, why would the turtles even bother with ripping the mouse in half? I've got a turtle myself and also feed it meat and loves it.
dmac843 2
Tortoises are herbivores. Turtles are usually carnivores eating fish, insects, and anything else they can.
JFox 8
No, they're not. Turtles mainly eat insects and fish. Mine was walking around in my backyard and she killed and ate a snail.
FalconSam1414 19
My turtle eats chop meat (like the meat in hamburgers that you grill) she's a box turtle and she loves it
Zangetsu67 5
Seriously, I'm with BellaMarta
DomDomxoxo 16
Then reply to her comment or thumb her up.
Zangetsu67 5
Are you PMSing like you said in you bio
lowercaseG 13
damn. childhood ruined
stormchaser24 24
Dang, how big where those turtles? I have seen only small ones at pet stores. FYL.