uh-oh
Sydney, Australia
Uh oh
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Mojosahomo
Salt Lake City, United States
Thanksssss
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Anonymous
West Chester, United States
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Anonymous
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
nattnatt73
Marion, United States
Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
Who's your daddy, snake girl?
I have had it with these mf snakes on this mf plane! Everybody strap in!
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Anonymous
Macedonia
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Anonymous
Saint Louis, United States
Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
Mary
United States
Scared for life
Today, like most days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice, but this time he brought this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family "brave" enough to go fetch our cat's gifts. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML
Top comments
thehouseaddict 3
Run, Forrest, run'
GotBrains 0
Could have been worse, you could have kicked your pet snake's dog toy :)
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Comments (121)
thehouseaddict 3
Run, Forrest, run'
scarletchamber 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
what why would he run it's just a stupid little snake
THE_A_TEEN 28
OP never told us what kind of snake it was. It could be a venomous snake. Australia IS home to many deadly animals.
ladyLALAA 29
Very true 17, and lots of dangerous spiders. Australia has some very scary wildlife. I once got chased by a cassowary, they are a very scary bird!
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Ok im gonna go for it. THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!!
dre_bro11 12
29, don't forget about the drop bears. Those damn koalas, just waiting, all cute and fluffy, for their chance to jump out of the trees, right onto your head... Claws out and everything.
Scarlettx7 0
It could of been worst ..
finalone34 3
"Something bit me!!"
diidiimi 10
Given OP's location it was probably an eastern brown. OP's lucky their dog is alive and they're not in agony in hospital. On the other hand, if it was dead 'cause OP's dog killed it they should probably stay away from the RSPCA and WIRES for a while. Oopst....
GirlYouNasty 11
43- I really enjoyed your comment for one reason: both the line you said and the one posted at the beginning of the thread are said either by Tom Hanks or in Tom Hanks movies. Whether or not this is intentional doesn't matter. Bravo
XanderScythe 11
7, the island taipan, the most poisonous land snake in the world, LIVES in Australia, my homeland ;)
idntwannaknow 3
And then you realized you didn't have a dog...
justhadtosaytht 0
And it's home to some of the most dangerous snakes.
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
17 and 29 - you have no idea ;) wildlife here is crazy as ****. What other country has jumping marsupials that can drown a dog in a dam (seen the after effects of a kicking/slashing/drowning, ain't pretty) has mammals that lay eggs which hatch for the babies to crawl into a pouch, and has some of the deadliest snakes and spiders in the world? ;) OP I hear and feel your pain
lolipop1234_fml 7
I moderated this one :)
ICATiger 13
Your mother must be so proud.
lolipop1234_fml 7
My mothers dead.
ICATiger 13
Sorry. It was an honest mistake. I'll just go hide in this corner.......
lolipop1234_fml 7
Thank you.
Birdie_Sage 0
Good job!
laden_swallow09 35
What, she can't be proud of you in the afterlife?
lolipop1234_fml 7
I think we should stop talking about if my dead mother is proud of me of not!
Jiinxx 8
well this was an amazingly awkward conversation to read.
ShyAnn29 15
lolipop1234, I'm sorry for your loss
AlexFallenAngel 2
your mother being dead doesnt give you a right to be a jackwad.
lolretard 0
Shut the f up
cheaptrix 6
62- You realize you can use the word ****, right **** **** **** **** ****
Skyrizzle23 0
62- what's an "f" ?
lolipop1234_fml 7
I didn't mean to offend anyone but sorry if I did. And 65 I freaking love teddiursa :)
lolipop1234_fml 7
The start of my last comment was for 61.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Actually, what did I say that makes me a "jackwad"? Just wondering.
GotBrains 0
Could have been worse, you could have kicked your pet snake's dog toy :)
bosskidz20 2
Wtf
MaxG123 8
Haha
Birdie_Sage 0
Haha
NoisyNykkii 10
Why you kick my dog?
gojira666 7
Pull out the ol trouser snake and have an epic battle!
br0ccoli 15
**** in it's eye! Yeah!
pokefan813 16
A wild ekans appeared. Go penis! Penis used ****. Ekans' accuracy fell. Ekans used poison fang. Penis was detached! Penis fainted
ShyAnn29 15
Beware of the one eyed snake!
BAMitsnikki 8
I bet the snake was as happy about it as you were...
lolipop1234_fml 7
It could have ended worse if you picked it up and threw it for your dog.
paschale 7
You kicked your dog's penis? Nice
ICATiger 13
Nope he kicked his own i'd say.
Garfunkle17 1
Why would u want to kick ur dogs penis? Is ur girlffruend outta town?
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Que?
Sidel 11
23: do you mean you kick your girlfriends penis or does she kick yours?
iBanana 17
No, what i think he meant is that he mistook his dogs penis for a snake, realized it was HIS penis, then re-realized that his penis is not as large as a snake, so; it was a snake.
letsgooo_fml 23
Now you can brag about kicking a snake cause you're a fearless rebel.
thatgirl34 6
*fearless bastard
LouisianaBob 9
*mean to snakes
Devor 5
:0
hernando240411 0
Are you British?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Why does it matter? BTW, OP is Australian.
emmaa3451 11
No seeing at it says next to OP's name : New South Wales, Austrailia. -_____-
noodlepoodle96 0
I hope that somehow somewhere, you're born in Australia and ignorant people like you ask, "Are u BrItIsH?!! Omg sooooo KEWL"
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
I use fml on my phone, and it doesn't tell any information about OP besides the name they choose for their fml. Just saying....
jbsington 8
Uh, I'm on the app too; yes, it does.
nofearjenshere 12
Just to clear things up, I have the app on my phone & on my iPod. On my phone(android), it doesn't show any info. But on my iPod it does. So it just depends on your device.
ShyAnn29 15
On my iPhone it says where they're from
gantzlord 5
Wow, the android app sucks.