Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
Pentium_4 27
oh man....next time you smell fish, you know what to say. BUT, only cause she was mean first ;)
StoryOfTheYear 15
No meat-lovers today?
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Comments (74)
lishy1311 0
LOLOLOLOL
Epsilonyx 15
She's clearly referring to the fact that you forgot to buy sausage for breakfast last week. No worries.
brock329 3
Hopefully your right or he has a small problem
Ins_Knie 2
She referred to herself. It's called 'penis envy'?
SgtTrAv 3
Enzyte time
Clamcreepy 7
You should've said the number comeback in that situation " that's not what you were saying last night"
yourXwillh8me 3
tell her it fits her sister nicely.
unoffensivename 0
Somesones either a bitch or on her period
CuddleMePanda 0
Tell her it's not your fault her vag feels like you can throw a hotdog in a hallway.
GypsyRover 0
Next time she says "give me 12" and hurt me", put it to her twice and punch her in the eye.
Fylminesawsome 5
Maybe the reason she cant feel it is cuz shes super loose.........