Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML
Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them, telling them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed because I "haven't gotten laid." FML
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, on a train, a little boy and a little girl came up to me and asked how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appeared and said, "Go on, tell them!" FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
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Top comments
black0belt0babe7 0
OH my god, this just made my day! What's the world coming to?
teethingtom 0
Tell your nephew I need my penthouse back
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Comments (96)
black0belt0babe7 0
OH my god, this just made my day! What's the world coming to?
Kurg 0
where is my other comment???
Kurg 0
Grrr why does it always skip the first comment I post. I was saying it's scary, I'm only thirteen yet I see kids that are years younger than me, talking about stuff I never knew about when I was their age.
iluvneon 0
Parents and adults blame it on tv but most of the stuff kids learn they hear at school on the bus, in the locker room , etc
dudeman1212 22
More like, what ISN'T the world coming to?
182crazyking 9
86, Cyanide and Happiness? Nice. OP, this is awesomely hilarious but still disturbing.
andrewcpu 8
LOL
cynicalsatireman 12
Those two statements are very conflicting.
teethingtom 0
Tell your nephew I need my penthouse back
Ajorioles 0
WIN!
Sassybq1 13
******* WIN! lol
katieatieay 0
that's precious.
MCart_fml 0
I started using the internet at age 8. By 11 I knew more than what's included in the "everything you ever wanted to know..." book. Tell his parents to get an internet filter, but it's probably faaaar too late for that.
maiden_girl 5
Haha. Kids these days...
LANCERZzZz 0
Tell him about Alaskan pipelines and roman showers. :D
Bunbu 8
I already knew about sex when I was 11. And what's wrong with lesbians?
Igniculus 0
Some people aren't into lesbians. Personally, I think some are hot. OP, teach him about protection.
arienh4 0
I knew this kind of stuff at age 6 actually. A friend of mine, who was 4 years older told me. Well, the phrases. In The Netherlands we have a 'kindertelefoon' (childphone) which is a number you can call and talk about anything. Including sexual terms. If you're six.
hapy_pig098 13
I learned in 3rd grade since i mostly hung out with guys and this is embarassing but i thought ladys had to get thier stomach cut to get the baby out and not that they had to push it out of "that" hole until i was 11
SonyIsGod 13
Well, there are cesarean sections as well. I think that's how you spell that...
SonyIsGod 13
Well, there are cesarean sections as well. I think that's how you spell that...
theanonimouse 0
Yeah, I was pretty well-versed in this stuff by the time I was 8.
StapleInBrain 0
OMG!!!!I'm laughing my ass of right now