Today, I was sleeping after having worked 76 hours over the last week on night shift, only to be woken up by a fire alarm in the hotel I'm staying in. I rushed to put on some clothes and head out, but couldn't hide my morning wood, which would not go away. People took pictures as we were waiting to be let back inside. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were spending the night at a hotel. We were awoken at 3 a.m. by the fire alarm. We quickly got dressed, went down the stairs to the reception area… and were told that it was a false alarm. All because some jerk lit a cigarette in his room. FML
Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
Today, police knocked on my door in middle of the night. They said there was a fire in one of the houses in our street, so they were evacuating houses. They wouldn’t let me go back and get dressed. As I was only in my underwear, they told me I could wait in their car. FML
Today, I had a night shift as a front desk clerk in a nice hotel. Even with 2 years experience, I truly wasn't ready for what was about to happen. From a burned hand by boiling water to unpaid rooms via a guest identification scandal at 3 a.m., everything that could go wrong did. FML
Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML
Today, I'm staying in a hotel. The power went out while I was having a shower. So I waited for it to come back on, until an announcement came over the fire alarm, "Due to generating failure, the power will be off for the rest of the night. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused, and have a good night." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
They take pictures of your morning wood? They must be hard up for entertainment.
lev 11
there's a fire and a pandemic and THAT'S what they think about?
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Comments (9)
lev 11
there's a fire and a pandemic and THAT'S what they think about?
RichardPencil 32
They take pictures of your morning wood? They must be hard up for entertainment.
onlyaweapon 7
truth
spinspinsugar 12
at least you weren't naked?
sirrubberduckie 37
Is that what gave you the idea to show it to the nurse later on?
coius 23
I would’ve been sarcastic and say they must like what they see if the insist on commemorating it via photo. Them i’d offer to autograph the pic if they mailed it to you with return postage. After that enjoy a nice deep rest knowing no one will come near you for the awkward comments so you can catch up on needed sleep. I found the best way to put an end to this is make it as awkward as hell. No one wants to stand up close when watching a train wreck happen. Put on a show and people will flee. Sleeping soundly problem solved.
EVR 8
Bruh I would've stayed in, not because of morning wood, because I would've been tired af, screw the fire alarm even if it was real, I'm putting ear plugs and take a well needed sleep...
BurnInDemonFire 39
"I came here with my dick in my hand! Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo' ass, be cool! And don't worry 'bout how I'm rippin' this shit!"
xxlk4xx 6
that sucks! but it's just your body doing what the body does! if my husband gets a random boner at times he doesn't want to have one, he discreetly just tucks it up into the elastic on his boxers until it goes away! (only do this if your shirt is long enough to cover the top of your boxers/underwear 😂)
Jonkbaby 23
I mean, you didn't try to hide it?