Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Bano360 25
Main reason I do not want to have kids. 4 siblings is enough.
sleepwalker13 25
Kids these days have no manners
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Comments (69)
goose12321 11
I hope you kicked his ass. Whoever urinates on someone clearly doesn't deserve any respect what so ever.
KareBear7364 5
oh how I miss being a lifeguard at a water park...
katejones 8
Ban both kids for a year.
Inkedldd 8
Those kids are evil little bastards. Another reason to not have kids.
unixdude 9
We're the paramedics able to save the kid after you beat him bloody? Too bad - I'm sure he would have made such a promising member of society.
worldclassrager 41
I don't understand what kids think at times...
KM96 24
Ewwww tmi
petergozinya37 8
I would've kicked the kid.
otecasacid 22
lifeguarding made me hate kids. At least I did it in a lake, (a very murky dirty one at that), so if a kid took a dump I didn't even know about it. Most of them have no respect for authority, and made me wish my position allowed me to slap them, and keep my job.
Llamacod 11
why was the lifeguard kid pooping in the pool? who hired him?