Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
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Top comments
Despereaux 15
Kick him in the balls and say "just where I thought they would be too"
brebabee793 13
what a creep!
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Comments (186)
buckdharma 38
It was 109 degrees today in Arizona. Extreme heat causes dehydration followed by delirium. maybe from behind he imagined you were a ice cream truck, and was reaching in your side compartment for some Mounds. Good thing for you he wasn't in the mood for soft serve.
asnakelovinbabe 16
A nipple touching man. ROFL
Dewoe 18
nipples.. ******* would be pointless without them..
ninany63 9
That guy needs to get laid! Quickly!!!
Ali_Br_fml 33
Okay. OP is a male, the nipple grabber is a male... he didn't know where OP's nipples were? He couldn't just look down at his own? Am I missing something here?
Metallicana 4
How does OP "deserve" this??
victrin 12
Yikes! I hope you called he cops. That's sexual assault.
alxpilk 8
Why does everyone assume OP is a girl? It could be a guy.
Ali_Br_fml 33
It says op is a guy in the gender area. I assumed OP was a girl when I read it too, but saw the gender while trying to view his name... He just happens to be anonymous
whiplash2289 19
"a nipple touching man" not one of zz top's better known songs
Benzypoop 6
Why the **** didn't you roundhouse kick that piece of shit in the face?!