Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers when one of them decided to put out his cigarette on the table and missed. I now have a nice burn mark on my hand. Did he say sorry? No. "Your hand shouldn't have been there." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend “accidentally” spilled a cup of hot tea on my lap at the dinner table. I had to get treated for second degree burns, because the skin on my lap was heavily saturated with the stuff. Apparently, he’s still mad at me for buying a male coworker a present for his birthday. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, my coworker and I were written up after we dropped a glass table, which shattered and left us with big cuts on our hands and arms. We weren’t written up for breaking the piece, but because a nearby customer heard us both swear in pain and reported us. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
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Top comments
cakefete2 31
This is where you slap him just hard enough and say, "your face should not have been there".
idk_rose 25
Use his hand as a coaster for next morning's hot coffee.
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Comments (25)
RichardPencil 32
And your hand shouldn't look so much like an ashtray. This one is on you.
idk_rose 25
Use his hand as a coaster for next morning's hot coffee.
cakefete2 31
This is where you slap him just hard enough and say, "your face should not have been there".
Corner514 6
good job
Alexandria79 22
I really like this answer.
momogal 22
You beat me to the punch. Came on here to say something to the effect of "You should've punched him and said 'Your face shouldn't have been there.'" Great minds think alike!
Lily_Rain77 25
Go to HR, that's bullshit.
Exaspera 55
Oooooooh! You're smokin' now!
sarcasmismyno1 22
Where the hell do you live that people can smoke at a lunch table?!
sweetbliss3 37
they do make tables for the outdoors.
species4872 20
Such co-ordination, he's lucky he wasn't about to have sex cause he would have end up in the shit.
tylers52 12
Thats assault
Lobby_Bee 18
No idea how he was able to even speak after that. I would of knocked him out the moment he did what he did. You need to grow a spine.
Ana Yasser 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
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