Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
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Top comments
samreimer 7
A) inhale huge amounts of water B) sink
TarieBoo 2
did you start drowning before you got in the water? i didnt know there was a 'wrong' way
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Comments (162)
MissFits_fml 6
lol
unknown_user5566 27
After reading some of the recent FML's I have officially decided that I never, ever want to be a lifeguard.
simonelli 9
How do you drown the wrong way!? I didn't even know that was possible..
Feel_like_a_egg 1
You sure you weren't drowning on land?
winnerme123 8
1) How are you supposed to drown on purpose (or act like you are drowning)? 2) Why would you drown on purpose unless you are committing suicide?
winnerme123 8
Especially in training (in continuation of #2)
missamerica95 0
Read the FML again and maybe that would answer your second question.
winnerme123 8
I know it's a training exercise but still three letters. WHY?
Softballchhickk 11
I'd tie 4 concrete blocks to him, push him in, and ask for a proper lesson on how to drown.
eash12 11
How to drown Option 1, the non-swimmer: non-swimmers tend to look like they are climbing a ladder, no sounds are heard as they are generally underwater. Option 2, the tired swimmer: the tired swimmer is still trying to reach shore by themselves but isn't moving very far, generally won't call for help. Option 3, the injured swimmer: holding injured body part, panicking and calling for help. Lastly, option four, the unconscious swimmer: pretty obvious, sinking to the bottom, no movement, no call for help
alexandraw1499 2
Why didn't you just drown the right way duh
j_cat187 20
Where you suppose to be a passive drowner?
liscentious23 1
How does one exactly drown?
False_Stupidity 42
I don't know, I've always approximately drowned before.