Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
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Top comments
samreimer 7
A) inhale huge amounts of water B) sink
TarieBoo 2
did you start drowning before you got in the water? i didnt know there was a 'wrong' way
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Comments (162)
GaleIsHawt 5
How can an idiot such as him be your boss?
ma12r 22
one does not simply drown the wrong way.
poptart840 5
Ask him to give you an example of how to "properly" drown yourself xD
Enslaved 38
The way people drown is usually- the body going limp and sinking to the bottom of the pool, not this slashing about yelling "help". As a lifeguard, I would hope you know what signs to look for.
elismith16 2
There are multiple types of drownings...there are active drownings where they can call for help and then there is passive which means they are not conscious anymore and there are injuries that cause drowning
tennisrapper1 14
Yeah OP! You weren't supposed to survive! I mean, come on...
uumlaut_strohson 3
were you also baking in soda?
Sk8erchick98 7
Dude, just go up and down
SomeAnonymousBro 4
48- But i tend to drown side to side sometimes..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This could also work as directions on how to jump.
X_Codes 11
Wouldn't your reputation be more threatened if you *did* drown the "right" way?
SomeAnonymousBro 4
Wait..you can drown the wrong way?? *has a panic attack*
thiscrazything 1
Next time, just drown better. Seriously, your boss is an ass. Good luck with your training. Nobody realizes how tough it is to be a lifeguard, until we need one.