Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
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Top comments
samreimer 7
A) inhale huge amounts of water B) sink
TarieBoo 2
did you start drowning before you got in the water? i didnt know there was a 'wrong' way
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Comments (162)
mrssuarez2011 12
Who is your instructor? He/she must be 16 and barely passed LGI cert, oh dear. More well-trained, mature guards.
elismith16 2
You have to be 18 to be a lifeguard instructor... And 15 to lifeguard...I think you are thinking of a water safety instructor which you have to be 16 to be certified as
lyss44 0
Ha I saw that happen to someone at my job haha it was funny as all get out, the boss just wasn't paying attention and the guy kept going under too early
loccsta83 5
It's not like he couldn't bring you back man... Look at his reputation just go drown.
False_Stupidity 42
I don't know about anyone else but I would gladly drown if there was a vat of chocolate involved, especially if it's dark chocolate..
shaunM 6
drowning the wrong way? how is that even possible?
AmericanShqiptar 1
you should have told him you couldn't drown properly. you ate his wife out and its regulation not to swim for 30 minutes after a.good meal, and that you should sue him for putting your life in jeopardy.
Bquillero16 18
Maybe instead of all those swimming lessons you took you should've taken drowning lessons
Ajwc101 24
Your boss sounds like a jerk.
elismith16 2
Maybe it was supposed to be a fake spinal injury?
KuchkaNumberOne 2
Did he really 'scream' at you?