Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
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Top comments
samreimer 7
A) inhale huge amounts of water B) sink
TarieBoo 2
did you start drowning before you got in the water? i didnt know there was a 'wrong' way
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Comments (162)
ICastillo 25
I didn't know there was a wrong way to drown? Tell your boss to teach you how to drown the right way.
TheNewGuy03 29
Ah, so that's why they need replacement lifeguards every other week. Boss [stroking his beard]: "So ... I couldn't help but notice that you're not drowning enough. Try ... dying a little more, would you?" OP [panicked]: "I don't know what's wrong with you or ... whoever, but **** this job! I'm out!" It's a conspiracy! |the kid|
sumbum95 15
Your boss is an idiot. :)
ChrisG93 8
Sounds like the boss could be. You never know though OP could have been drowning completely wrong lol.
sumbum95 15
Hahaha, true. Maybe there is a real way to drown wrong. :0
ChrisG93 8
His boss seems to think so lol. Maybe I should look into drowning lessons that way I can do it properly.
TrancyPants 0
.. What is the "right" way then?
Wicked361 8
Actually drowning...
Drew167 8
Next time I drown I'm going to do it the proper way and see if I get OP's boss's approval.
Il_Maestro 6
With a picture like that, you've got my approval.
ljcarranza 16
ask your boss to show you the right way? Idk
bettyc4 26
Ask him for a demonstration
msilikegrapes 8
you selfish bastard. dont you know that in order to drown properly you have to DIE.
kamikrazy 6
Drowning on purpose is actually pretty hard. I know I can't do it.
ZX6Rninja 0
I assume there is more to the story and op is just whining because they got fired. The boss probably specified what op ahould do before hand
ManInTheMachine 20
Nothing in the FML says OP got fired. And saying that your boss yelled at you for "drowning wrong" sure as hell isn't whining.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You know what they say about assuming: it makes an Ass out of you. And you, my friend, are spiraling downward to a certain level in ass-ness.
tony1891 22
there is a wrong way to drown?
ICastillo 25
I know this has nothing to do with the post, but Dude I feel bad for that dog in your pic. It's Rape!!!!!