Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
She's lost control again
Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML
Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML
Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML
Toot toot!
Today, I had a massive sneeze while driving. It was so strong that I swerved and accidentally hit the horn, startling the person crossing the street. They dropped their coffee all over themselves and their phone. I ended up giving them cash for a new phone out of guilt. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Chill out, dude!
Today, I was running late for a meeting and wound up getting stuck in traffic, which started to stress me out to the point of road rage at no one in particular. When I finally arrived, the meeting had been cancelled. FML
Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML
Faulty plumbing
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Seasonal allergies
Today, I sneezed inside my helmet when I was driving 90 mph on my motorbike. No quick solutions were available to improve visibility. FML
Top comments
cakeddeath 1
Traffic is a bitch
kickuwithmyfist 1
bless you!!!!
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Comments (77)
niadanac1 3
That is terrible.
Cappiej 18
You don't say!
niadanac1 3
I did say. Thanks for point that out.
Tweekz14 5
At least put some effort into the comment. If it's on fml of course it's gonna be terrible. I'm tired of reading stupid comments.
niadanac1 3
I refuse to add any effort to my commenting. Such is my right.
disneydraeer 10
You obviously don't put effort in your grammar either by the looks of your second comment...
hwkfan1 10
Wonder why those "snotty" bitches didn't let you turn around..
RaggleFrock 13
31-Pot. Kettle. Black. That's sucks traffic jams are the devils work.
Senseless_487 29
Well, that's rich. We have one person commenting on someone's bad grammar, who then, even though she didn't make any grammatical errors, is corrected by someone else who apparently doesn't know how to use proper grammar. It's a grammar nazi endless loop!
Jonkbaby 23
thats snot cool
chokefrantic 9
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Marcella1016 32
*yawn* - Wake up to muted sunlight and birds chirping - Idly reach for my phone, chuckle at FMLs, read comments - Mildly entertained by the inevitable 276-post argument on the sacred first comment - Wonder how long it'll last before mods delete the whole thing. *yawn* SSDD
cakeddeath 1
Traffic is a bitch
linstar 13
At least you didn't get into a car accident!
Marcella1016 32
I find OP's wording ironic...he referred to it as the road he "was meant" to take. Surely it was the road he *meant* to take, when the hand of fate reached down and made him sneeze so he traveled down the road he *was meant* to take... Just a thought :)
Wolvander88 19
"You are not stuck in traffic, 'You' are traffic." - Unknown
hawkey126 0
Colds are a bitch.
Jonkbaby 23
dump his assss
Greendaycheese 12
It could be worse :P
Il_Maestro 6
You could've sneezed and accidentally hit a motorcyclist. Other traffic would have had to have swerved to avoid hitting the man and inadvertently hit other vehicles in the process. Not only would you have cause a 37 car, 4 lane pile up but you would have been charged with at least 14 counts of vehicular manslaughter among numerous other charges. You would have been sentenced for 25 to life in a prison where the only job you would have is to be "Tiny's" shower bitch. Then, the only person who would visit you in jail is your mother who would bring you peanut brittle every week. Too bad your ******* allergic to peanuts. And you were worried about missing a turn.
jtthegr8 26
You should write children's books
zoPwNAgEzo 21
25 - I actually enjoyed reading that
geerod22 5
34- There happens to be a button for that.
xxdark 3
Some of us solely use the app, so quit smartassing. :)
Zachthejoker 10
Could've sneezed and rammed into another car
mannykatany 9
#25 props to you!!
Jetty92487 0
Did that in Chicago a few days ago. Really sucks when you end up in the projects in a semi.
melikeyturtles 3
Chicago has two seasons: winter and construction. I live here and I hate both but still couldnt bring myself to leave this beautiful city.
kickuwithmyfist 1
bless you!!!!
alstbv12 13
How long do your sneezes last?!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Longer than that pause after Dora asks, "What was your favorite part?"
Allie614032 34
Exactly, you should always see where you're turning way before two seconds ahead of it, or however long a sneeze takes.
KrazieKleo 13
Fyl. I hope you don't drive a standard!
disneydraeer 10
Bless you?
destinee_95 2
How do you miss a road because you sneezed??! Must be some aggressive sneezing haha
DMarie217 0
Well bless u but more importantly I bless you!