Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML
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Top comments
camoMS 18
Next time she's bringing in groceries run up the driveway saying "You're on your own!"
Tripartita 45
In my professional opinion, you were momentarily trapped in a cartoon. This would also explain the reluctance to run off to the side of the driveway and to somewhere the drivers wouldn't go.
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Comments (43)
Geckosrock99 33
I hope you got a good picture or the licence plate off those assholes' car, OP. They need to realize that that was very dangerous and can be considered attempted vehicular manslaughter if either of you got hurt or killed. That was not a prank.
Sam611001 12
run, forrest, run!
XboxSqueaker 15
you should have sprinted at their car and leaped on to the hood
sprouting 13
World Politics. #justsaying
DRaffie 18
I thought it was going to end with "then my dad opened the door and started laughing"
rydersmomma16 21
What the ****? I'm sorry but I'm not following this. How did they chase you up the driveway in their car? Are you indicating that they almost hit you with their car on your OWN driveway? And then your mom ran away l, AND you and she both didn't think, wow, I should call the cops and report this incident (along with the car description and license plate info)??? WTF? YDI.
infinitemonkey 21
So what exactly should she have done? Stop the car with her super mom strength?
sighlifeman 12
I don't think she gave birth to you
BloodyGlass 10
So, when you end up dead, leave a note to her that says, "Now you're on your own." :)
Colon_Man 17
I'm going to give each of my family members an envelope and tell them not to open them unless I'm dead. Then, after I die they will open them to find a single piece of paper with the word "butts" in the middle.
andrmac 25
Throw trash that will leak or leave a good mark on the car then call the police and report the attempted double murder and describe the trash that leaked onto the car to the dispatcher.