Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML
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Top comments
camoMS 18
Next time she's bringing in groceries run up the driveway saying "You're on your own!"
Tripartita 45
In my professional opinion, you were momentarily trapped in a cartoon. This would also explain the reluctance to run off to the side of the driveway and to somewhere the drivers wouldn't go.
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Comments (43)
deathrise007 22
Nice username OP
FitFriday 32
This sounds like my mom
Derix 11
You were taking out the garbage, you could have thrown the bag into the car
Goblin182 27
Do you often take the garbage out together?
gracehi 33
I'm guessing there was a lot of trash on this occasion.
crudeandrudeguy 29
If the kid is old enough to post on the Internet then they're old enough to get out of the way of a car, was she supposed to throw herself down in front of the tires?
Sam611001 12
run, forrest, run!
celestialphoenix 9
Throw the trash over their car and run. Bonus points if something liquid or sticky goes through the window.
quarterbird 18
LMMFAO
Dr_Awesome654 24
Why was your mom with you to take out the trash?
gracehi 33
I upvoted your comment because I like poetry.