Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML
Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
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Top comments
MasterHurricane 0
next time, dont take shit from anyone.
blazingman311 1
I hope you threw your poo back?
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Comments (99)
FarSide 23
witness your momma...
craigkid 2
Alena ?
Houndourpup 0
32 is right on target
leadrunner751 3
it's what they do best
Jim9349 10
Ummm Do they have internet in india?? Why would they have cell phone reception or wireless internet their, they are struggling to feed them selves... and from what it sounds, you are no where near civilization, how did you post this, but I assume that you are posting this from a friends house, or school or something ...
dudeitsdanny 10
India (Madhya Pradesh) ---That's in INDIA. FML finds your location , you don't type it in. Also, India DOES have internet, and cellphones, etc. When you call tech support for almost any company.. Most of their tech support people are in India. Get an education.
riplikethat 0
"Get an education." That's like telling him to find India on the map. Too much strain for his monkey brain.
kineticgt 0
You seriously need some help, please go back and finish elementary school... :)
beyoh 0
Some places, like the small villages and so on, will not have Internet. But the towns and cities do, and a lot of their hotels have Internet access also. I've been to Peru, India, Africa etc. and have found the Internet in most hotels that I've stayed in. More than I can say for some British hotels!
NotGoodEnough1 0
Of course they have the internet in India, stupid.
TheLoneWolf87 4
Boom! Headshot!
hootney 0
I almost don't believe this.
bubbub617 0
ur a liar
stringzofmyheart 0
Were you by any chance at Omkareshwar? Because I've heard lots of shitty stories about the monkeys there.
maahinberi 0
ppl ssly. ppl in India hav cellphones. in fact all tech support is done through India. Dell and hutchingson tech support functions only through India whereas one of apple's 5 tech support centres are in India. if we dint hav Internet, I wouldn't be posting this. so get your facets right b4 openin ure shitty mouth
noobcaek 2
Racism is not allowed. Noob. YOU have to research what you talk about first, in your mind. Hell, by your attitude it sounds you're either upset, grumpy, or a plain jackass in their teens. You're fat, imo.
toaster468 0
I know Indians do know their tech, but only if they could speak so everyone could understand them.