Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML
Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML
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Top comments
Frabens 1
To anybody who wondered how chocolate frogs were made in Harry Potter... You now know.
mohamed_H 21
*incoming overused pun in 3 2 1* That must have been a shitty situation hehe, i'll show myself out :(
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Comments (21)
SOILEDIT 51
What a great way to start off your morning with a little bit of poop frog!
mohamed_H 21
*incoming overused pun in 3 2 1* That must have been a shitty situation hehe, i'll show myself out :(
Frabens 1
Why would you say it's an overused pun then use it?
mohamed_H 21
Because... why not?
Qandol 26
I wouldn't just skip breakfast, but all meal after that.
Zanquis 22
Your doggy is a epic prakster, but if OP thinks he had a FML think about how that must have been a shitty way for the frog to wake up.
gatorclay97 28
Thanks now I'm skipping breakfast as well.
mssileas 25
I just screamed out of sympathy! Gross, gross, scary, gross... ah the joys of owning a dog...
Pro_Bender_fml 1
This is actually hilarious
Frabens 1
To anybody who wondered how chocolate frogs were made in Harry Potter... You now know.
allforfun 23
I thought it was funny lol
Kattsu 0
Today, after a long night of bar hopping, I fell asleep on a nice pad of grass. I was later woken up to a heavy wet object dropping onto my back. In shock, I hopped onto a nearby branch, to be thrown off into the air, and splat on the ground. FML. -The Frog.
Verdeve 23
Frog: Today, I was trying to sleep and some dog shat on me, then I got groped by a human. FML