PJ.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Chicago, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Madison43097
United States 🌶️ Spicy
The Three Bears Conundrum
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Dickhead
Lebanon 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Anonymous
Shailer Park, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
To do what?
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
Faluna
Sweden 🌶️ Spicy
Ewwwwww
Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
Jake
Athens, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML
Sal
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
anonymous
Noblesville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
peridot1aa
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Top comments
moronslayer 0
if you're rich enough for a house keeper you're rich enough for a prostitute
CallMeHush 1
Why are you trying to impress the housekeeper? She isn't going to give you any play. What did you do with the rest of it? Swallow?
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Comments (88)
spazz1824 0
wow. I feel bad :( sorry
Reyo 2
I'm curious as to what the respect of your houskeeper would do for you. Not to be rude, but she's you're ******* housekeeper. It's not like she has the authority to give you an Oscar or a Nobel proze.
B4SK3TB4IL 0
maybe the housekeepers hot. nevermind.
Denikk 0
Oh yea because the normal reaction when you see a bed in which there's no condoms is: "Now this dude is a loser."
SuperKnuckels 6
maybe OP should ask said house keeper for Fun hangout time. That is, after she's done cleaning lol.
CallMeHush 1
Why are you trying to impress the housekeeper? She isn't going to give you any play. What did you do with the rest of it? Swallow?
mekeskidi_fml 0
The housekeeper is going to think that he uses condom to **********.
allen20 0
Aww that sucks. Go out there and find some love! :D
pussymonsterr 0
ur an asshole hush
dudeitsdanny 10
Hahahaha. This is the best comment I've seen today. It's "Yon", though. "Meester Yon."
redbluegreen 41
If your housekeeper reads FML, it won't matter much now, will it? Anyway, there's loads of things you can do with condoms that don't involve getting any.
Tonys_kitten6 0
#5 i love you
redbluegreen 41
Spaceghost77 0
Good move, now she thinks you are some weirdo that plays with condoms. She can tell a woman wasn't in your place.
alexm501 0
Why do you think the housekeeper was a woman? And are they psychic?
MakeupBurn 0
Pathetic. You think the housekeeper would care?
padlarf 14
YDI for caring too much of what others think of you
Maddoctor 10
Really? Because all those other FML's with "I (insert action) so I could get my family to think I have a life" totally don't get tons of FYL's. Just like that girl who got dressed up on New Year's Eve so her parents would think she had a social life. It's the same concept, and people seem to be sympathetic in those cases.
obesemaurice 0
yeah but this is worse cause he can't get laid lol and what your family thinks matters more than what a bloody housekeeper does lol
Maddoctor 10
Yes but your family shouldn't judge you even if you have no social life. I think the OP has some serious ego problems, but unfortunately people who aren't close to you tend to judge, and most people try to get them to judge in a good light. Although I'm not entirely sure if making it seem like you have a sex life will bring you good judgements... I'm just saying the two FML's are of equal standing.
ColdGold 6
witty
moronslayer 0
if you're rich enough for a house keeper you're rich enough for a prostitute
Anonymiz 4
...or a gold-digger.