Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML
Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
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Top comments
MasterHurricane 0
next time, dont take shit from anyone.
blazingman311 1
I hope you threw your poo back?
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Comments (99)
blazingman311 1
I hope you threw your poo back?
PirateMan 0
POOOOOOO FIGHT!
thetallone 0
If you have any poo...fling it now!
ryguy1997 0
SUPER MONKEY POOP FIGHT! (Thats actualy an online game)
iLoveTeraaa 0
fakeeeeee omfgggg
coolboy6 0
no it could be tru monkeys are good at poo flinging:)
Youser 0
I agree with 84 I'm calling this faaaaaakkkkeee
MasterHurricane 0
next time, dont take shit from anyone.
polico_wolf 0
win
dknight_fml 0
win (x2)
kpo216 0
and this is also bullshit
himoonkey 8
lololol pun I think I'm retarted
ViviChenny 19
Unless it's from a monkey.
CallMeHush 1
I think he likes you.
razorp 0
in a situation like that you absolutly have to throw shit back, otherwise you are the monkeys bitch
allen20 0
Lmao i saw a monkey throwing poo at peiple at a zoo! haha xD
dudeitsdanny 10
I saw a monkey picking at its butt, and then sniffing his finger... Right before he stuck it in its mouth. LA Zoo chimps sure are something.
quinnteh 0
I saw an orang utan jacking off while gazing at one of my female friends in Adelaide Zoo.
emadee 0
hahah at the la zoo i saw a chimp shit in his hand then eat it, they absolutely sure are something
hahaohwell 0
at the zoo i saw a monkey suck his on ****
pussymonsterr 0
hahaha ownage
ragsy 7
Now that you are covered in shit, you smell like everything else in India.
Towelie_31 0
lol its funny cause its true
Sungazing 0
hey India is not all stinky, its just the space we give to stinky foreigners that stinks...just to give a silent message you see :p
DeathStar_fml 0
just like your mom
riplikethat 0
What is interesting is that this ragpicker guy managed to smell every Indian to post his fact and then this towel came in to wipe his ass and confirm the fact.
beyoh 0
Have you ever even BEEN to India? Coz I have and it's not skanky or dirty.
shek1608 11
Ragsy, u are so god damn ignorant : You should know better than to post derogatory comments about a particular race,country,ethnicity or whatsoever. Get your facts right.
toaster468 0
stfu indians smell bad, get over it.
onlyoncamera 0
81, so ignorant, so stereotypical, like we havent heard that one before. It's 2012, times have changed, I think it's time for you to leave your racism in the past.
hellokimmiee 5
Hahahahahahaha "SHIT HAPPENS"
ColdGold 6
You were supposed to add it to your journal. Press it between the pages like a rose.
YayAmerica 0
Monkeys are pretty much known for that. There's no way you didn't realize it was a risk if you've been studying there for very long. Still sucks, though.