Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML
Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, most of my day was spent repeatedly checking to see how well my Reddit posts have been performing as of late. I think I need to find a hobby. FML
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
You post (on average) 10 status updates a day? At that rate, you don't have to worry about people seeing that you don't have a social life, because everybody has already taken notice of that and hidden you from their news feed.
insanesna1l 0
did you post this as your new facebook status?
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Comments (115)
lalalalala666 0
my butthole is itchy
amsftw 0
woooooow. your cool.
lalalalala666 0
yaaaaa you sooo cool toooooo
amsftw 0
yepp (: my butthole isn't itchy.
Immersion 0
learn to msn then
NickK49 0
Anal?
Jackmangold 0
win
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
lol. it's almost msn at 10 statuses a day.
dusty209 0
cave drawings??
TheNinjaCat 10
omai, same here!
GlobalElephant 16
I bet it like 70 status and 0 likes
MtnDew32 0
time for a Twitter
allmidnighteyes 11
Ahh, Twitter... Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.
prettyteen13 0
lol
supervacaneous 4
At #18, that was said about blogging 5 years ago. Fail. How much could you possibly say on Twitter with its 140 character limit? No amount of tweeting or over-tweeting could equal a pretentious douchebag's blogging. Also, Twitter caters to a wider audience, with millions of "followers". Bloggers on the other hand, usually don't.
allmidnighteyes 11
I just got that off a shirt I saw someone wearing at school earlier. I have no idea how long it's been around or where it originated from. As far as pretentious bloggers go nowadays, loltumblr.
supervacaneous 4
It's as if no one can think for themselves anymore. Need an answer? Get it off Google. Need a witty remark? Get it off a shirt. Need all of your next victim's personal information? Get it off Facebook.
Acousticpixie14 6
You sound like you need to get laid.
Jackmangold 0
twitter is just Facebook's status updates without the Facebook
ImaginaryFoe 1
#30, it was probably said about newspapers, radios, television, etc. There is no new thing under the sun (stole that from an incredibly old book). Twitter may have millions of followers but that doesn't mean every person who tweets does. Blogs can be geared towards relevant information and have intelligent writing. Many bligs have millions of followers. Nothing of import has ever *only* been tweeted.
shannonreneee 11
33, you are so argumentative. He's obviously just mucking around. It's FML, chill out. Oh tumblr, where the scene kids and myspace *****'s ghost come to play.
allmidnighteyes 11
And where 4chan memes (that Tumblr kids think they created) go to die...
teh_uber_muffin 3
Something like that is said in the Bible, I believe.
supervacaneous 4
Well, if you do Google that exact quote it will say, "Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few." The same doesn't go for other forms of communication. Not a big deal, guys.
lmaouloser 5
Twitter has the same potential for the same number of followers as a blog. But Bloggers usually make money.
allmidnighteyes 11
You post (on average) 10 status updates a day? At that rate, you don't have to worry about people seeing that you don't have a social life, because everybody has already taken notice of that and hidden you from their news feed.
Danny300 0
If you think 10 posts a day is bad, you should see some of my friends. 30-40 a day is normal for them.
allmidnighteyes 11
That's just pathetic... If anyone on my list ever got to that point, I'd just delete them.
oliver86 8
one of my friends does that and they're all about the same girl
sting1234 0
yea one of my friends on Facebook posts everything on Facebook, her stuff is the only thing I see on the Facebook wall, it pushes everything else away
kofinater 3
When i see people mucking up my news feed i usually just hide them
tattortotamus 0
it pisses me off when they post things like 'I'm bored' ten minutes later 'still bored' two minutes later ' still bored and now I'm eating cheese Lolz :DD' **** that's annoying
mikuxxhatsune 32
How?? My friends complain if I do 2 or more statuses in a day.
amsftw 0
then stop complaining about it here on fml and do something! :b
Juliaa15 6
wow. I have to say, this is one of the worst FMLs I've read. And I don't like to say this too often.
Alleged_Cranium 7
Stop using up all the electrons: ELECTRON HOG!
rottentomatoes 7
what?
oliver86 8
I WANT SOME ELECTRONS TOO!!!!!!!!11
Primus_fml 0
You want electrons? Are you positive?
Vitamin_C 0
Lol Primus!
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I'm afraid that's a negative there, 43, he was just being a little too ecstatic.
spearhead 5
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
oliver86 8
I think I'll just remain neutral I can deal without a few electrons here and there
Alleged_Cranium 7
First: to say that "combo breakers" are douches
chrstygrl06 10
You're in luck. I'm selling one, let me know your offer!
CallMeHush 1
and then you came here...