Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Your NEXT awesome facebook status? Yeah, somehow I doubt that you ever actually had anything close to an awesome status. So, what did you make of it? "Chicken and peas for dinner today!!! lol,jk jk, it was actually chicken and carrots!!11!"
Jimminee 3
sometimes it just comes to you.
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Comments (89)
birchknollbabe32 0
you should be a probe mother, cuz you'll raise a beautiful young daughter who's lucky to have you as a mom
rachel12158 0
I've so done that before hah
MothsWings 4
So it's **** your...existence?
rchl101 0
So you decided to post it on FML?
stevenmx86 8
Just a tip, no body is looking at your status going "whoa that guy rocks". I know a few people that only post statuses they've been thinking of all day and any time those people come up you get a "uuugh, that guy.. Wtf everyone knows he's not intelligent why does he try to act like it"
ReeceCT 0
You are just the worst type of person.
tuxedoandex 28
I plan my YouTube videos days in advance, don't worry about it.
sharond23 10
yes. You do.
randybryant799 21
And you are absolutely right.