Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
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Top comments
DawnShadow_fml 5
I love this wording.
waterkins 7
Should have puked on him
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Comments (100)
ROSI3TH3CAT 18
H
JustPlayTheGame 6
FYL Op I laughed so loud reading this... Would of been great if I wasn't going into an exam hall :') made my day
TurquoiseJesus 15
About the same, I'd imagine.
j_cat187 20
Taco Bell: The quickest way to shit your pants.
Sputnikspak 13
Nope, pretty sure that's getting C-Difficile (I got that in the hospital in 2011, you honestly have zero warning, not even 'I think I might have to fart' - you can get it from being on strong antibiotics that nuke your gut flora), but it's definitely the SECOND fastest way.
TurquoiseJesus 15
I'm just gonna go on record saying that Taco Bell is delicious, regardless of the after effects. Just a pure ****** in the mouth.
j_cat187 20
Where you sitting next to fat bastard?
Bigger_than_Jesu 5
Silent but publicly deadly. Stay classy transit.
MissMollie_85 12
don't worry, one day he will try it and follow through. then he can be the public face of taco bell, with a cool burgerking kids style nickname, 'skidz' perhaps? what happened to those darn kids anyway? ;)
alissa222 15
M h Z
alissa222 15
Shit sorry I didn't mean to comment/caught it too late to delete. Sorry bout that!
buckdharma 38
If it's silent the route, might be in doubt, methane but you made a long sound, and put them all down, methane You can't lie, you can't lie, you can't lie, methane If you're the bad news, cause you felt a ooze, methane When it rips out your buns, the damage is done, methane You can't lie, you can't lie, you can't lie, methane If your burrito is gone, and you wanna run on, methane Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back, methane you can't lie, you can't lie, you can't lie, methane