Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
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Top comments
DawnShadow_fml 5
I love this wording.
waterkins 7
Should have puked on him
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Comments (100)
FeleciaIgnis 13
Your wordplay is what makes this awesome. Sorry you had to smell that though.
lifes_surprises 11
Been there. Worked at a taco bell once and people farted in there all the time. Made me want to run behind the counter every time.
rise182punkz 8
Yeah my Taco Bell farts are bad too!! So I do feel your pain and Taco Bell is only good when you are drunk
kaitie183 7
I had the same thing happen to me but mine was shit in the antique mall bathroom! :/
SmokeyPlague 12
thats why everyone should eat taco bell, just annihilate one another with those raunchy flatulence of freedom lol
DarkskyFML 5
Tonight, when he is mounting your head, it won't seem as bad.
meagann01 4
At least, when he dies, he'll be remembered for something.
sambyrdPF 4
Silly Americans!
WizardJeremy 13
You should of faked your death since you can die from inhaling gas. The joke will be on him then, try getting out of this law sentance bitch. Oh and then after change your looks and name and do life all over again
TheMystery13 13
That guy gets a thumbs-up from me! I say it all the time, the best way to avoid embarassment is to beat everyone else to the joke!