Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
namezox 0
wtf.. why would you do that.
Maxine17 8
You should have said something like "Excuse me, you have something on your face" You don't touch strangers unless you have had at least 50cl of vodka.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
Yumi_Usagi 0
FIRST
sexxxtacy 0
stuppid ****** first posters anywho, ydi fer touchin another mans face
EpicJohn 0
You touched another mans face. You had it coming jackass.
look_its_me 0
says it all.
Thabb 0
Couldn't you just say "there's a bug on your face"?
guitarheroine 0
gotta agree with this dude
KarinaLizeth18 5
hahaha!!! Priceless :D thank you lord for giving me mental pictures of this muahahahaha >:D
spade1997 0
134 I have mental pictures of you getting hit by the same guy...repeatedly
namezox 0
wtf.. why would you do that.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
argh he did it coz the guy had a bug on his face?!?! omg read the fml before you psot commnts dumbass! srsly.. :|
dudeitsdanny 10
I really hope this "justareaderoffml" person is just our newest troll. Please, dear Flying Spaghetti Monster... Please.
look_its_me 0
please be a troll... we don't need another fucktard...
thecrazyasian 3
u must be gay
folfg0 12
I am losing faith in humanity......... One ticket off this rock please! Wait.... Wtf screw that, you get off!! I like it here.
stumpygremlin 13
Don't smack it off of him. Just tell him it's there
22cute 17
Yes duh!
Maxine17 8
You should have said something like "Excuse me, you have something on your face" You don't touch strangers unless you have had at least 50cl of vodka.
capnjax 0
******* lightweight.
FerrariCake 2
Hey, she's a little girl. Half a liter of vodka would get most girls pretty messed up.
enough4 0
11 shots of vodka? That would get pretty much anyone messed up.
Maxine17 8
I said AT LEAST, you know that stage where you are past tipsy, but not quite drunk.
Triniddy 0
yeah, don't just smack it. he'll be like wtf.
frivolous 0
what'd you think he'd do? "Thanks for bitch-slapping a bug offa my face?"
Reacher_fml 0
WIN.
leaper66 12
Why would you do that? Considering you're a guy, would you like it if another strange male touched your face?
TeeHee124 0
Oh yeah. I LOOOVE it when random men start touching my face without warning.
NotEven 0
If you were going to swat the bug away, the LEAST you could have done was precede it with "you have a bug on your face". Then maybe he'd have known wth you were doing and wouldn't have reacted the way he did.
jlowder2 0
maybe it was his pet...swatting someones pet off their face is kind of a dick thing to do.
Balltack 0
LOLOL! thats ******* hilarious and your right....it is a very dick thing to do.
theset3 0
:( my pet fly bill died yesterday.... he was swatted at. i had on a little leash. i used a string wen he was asleep... now im sad
SweetestSin 4
I call bullshit!! Wht would you lightly smack it off when you could just open your mouth and say somethinglike "Hey you have a bug on your face"? Lightly smack my face I would repeatedly punch yours as well.
youjustmademelol 4
^ it's cause he's a dumb ass I agree though its not hard to say you have a bug right there.