Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
YDI for dating a cop(;
coralita 0
he should of brought you one!
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Comments (161)
Jenmic 16
Were you ******* Homer Simpson?
nahbayccb 0
two holes in one!!
InBetweenDreams 0
AND, he also stops to text while having sex. Poor girl, FYL.
sucks2_beyou 0
Good refrence
cole86 0
that is one smart man!
NYBellz 0
no he's def not ... come on .. who stops sex for a carb ... hopefully sex wasn't whack that he needed something else to enjoy in order to cum
LoveMySoldier82 0
Maybe his blood sugar was really low? Would she rather that he pass out on her?
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
There's such a thing as sexy food play and this was NOT it! lol Pretty rude IYAM...
Chris19801012 0
whoa whoa, the man could have diabetes. so negative. was it jelly filled?
destonerock 0
if you come to Seattle let me know.
lifesohardeh_fml 0
yuck he should be you ex b.f now.... I dont think I could ever get turned on by someone that gross... and if hes a big enough pig to do something like that im sure hes a loser in many other ways
oliver86 8
cos you'd know right?
melancholyangel 0
You would seriously break up with someone over that? A relationship is about communication, and people need to communicate what they find acceptable/unacceptable. Jumping to the conclusion that someone should break up with their partner over something like that BEFORE discussing it as adults is highly immature.
ryanst 7
Whenever I see someone immediately say "break up with them!!" over stupid stuff, I just ignore their comment knowing they've obviously never been in a real relationship.
Calyx_fml 22
Maybe the doughnut tasted better than your cooch.
kaoriblossom 8
cause he likes it sweet :P
gxkon 5
must notof been that good
tamie306 5
if you were so mad about it why didn't you just leave
cutlasson24s 0
lol damn fat as Muffacka