Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
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Top comments
Feverrotes 15
OP it's because of people like you that United States of America is considered the land of the obese. Giving up on a diet after the first week or so is slightly acceptable, but on the first day? Some people need to come to their senses and realize that posting about their weak commitments/determinations on FML is not the best way to resolve the issue or gain sympathy.
shlee053 2
it's called will power loll
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Comments (151)
shlee053 2
it's called will power loll
dumbhaters 0
why the **** do all you ******* discriminating ***** hate fat people so much.
olisykes_ 0
I'm assuming you or someone you love is fat..
babybubz 0
LOL
brutal_banger 10
only fat people defend other fatass' either run on a treadmill or become bulimic
mfmylifesrsly 30
because fat ppl eat eat and eat! but let me guess, your gunna blame it on their genetics?
pipp360 0
fatass
Prestigex 0
Win #74
YayAmerica 0
Okay, there are still calories in leftover Indian food. You can't just NOT count it, because you've counted everything else all day. If you're going to do that, you have to allow calories FOR it. For instance, if your limit is 1500, you need to save 400 calories for that 400 calories of Indian food or you're NOT on a diet. Ya moron.
quietlytearful 0
bulimia isn't a joke #37...
theschweigert 0
Hey, 46, learn the English language before trying to insult people you little bitch.
gomego87 0
WTF? notttt even funny.
dumbhaters 0
98 just owned that discriminating trashbag ****.
majones 0
YDI for cheating on your boyfriend.
lovesick4628 0
@#37 shut UP! my dad just died from being overweight. 'kay!?!?! YOU BUNCH OF DOUCHEBAGS!
olisykes_ 0
lol
michael32123 0
lol #119 that was fail. things that went wrong with your comment. 1) you're mentally unstable 2) trying to make people feel bad for you via FML doesn't work 3) you're adopted and do not have a father
skoalbowl 0
this is so not a fml. omg who cares
brutal_banger 10
119 your dad died from being fat? sounds like there'll be more food for everyone else
isabellarodrigue 0
haha win!!!
Trainn 19
Gtfo kid, get your non grammar using self out of here.
beertime36 0
tz. just eat 5-6 small nutritious, healthy low calorie meals a day. that way you avoid the urge to have a calorie rich snack.
emjoy 0
First day
JustStopSucking 0
And not even a full day at that. Congratulations you shitwhale, you have the willpower of a crack fiend. I look forward to subsidizing your quad bypass and forklift transport service.
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
#82, so did I xD it's totally my new insult, forget fag ^^ (btw, I really respect gay rights, I just think fag is a good insult. just sayin'.)
dv2010 0
You were hungry?? So you decided to be a fatass and stuff yourself? Thats smart. Next time dont agree to something that you cant handle.
TiNyBuBbLeZ 0
this is one of the reasons why america is fat
sparklemuffin 8
exactly what I was thinking :D
freakingreena 0
yum indian food! buhjia?
SuperSukh 6
Omg! Now I want samosas and garlic naan! Thanks a lot, OP! :(
DRC84 0
this is stupid.
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
#6, I agree. Everyone is hating on this poor girl just because she caved and ate a food she enjoys. Her boyfriend is a dick for making her go on a diet anyway. Dump him, OP, you deserve better.
RrubiksCuber 6
From what it sounds like, her boyfriend wasn't forcing her on a diet, she said they were doing it together. Anyways, dumping someone for caring about your health? Pretty stupid. I have a feeling that you are of the more pudgy type of person...
Juneee_fml 0
fat ppl = small diks
mfmylifesrsly 30
LOL
pwincessa23 1
Ur a bitch. I used to be chubby when I was little and stupid things that people said were really hurtful. if u decide to be bulimic than sorry for u but that does not give u the right to run ur mouth like a crazy, ignorant and arogant little brat.
pwincessa23 1
That was for number 37 on the most part...
brutal_banger 10
i was bulimic and fat so I think it's safe to say I'm not ignorant since I did something about it and I bet your still chubby
xNoGoodx 0
tomorrow is tikka masala day for me....
KRUSH_fml 0
how the **** does shit like this get onto fml??!?! this is the dumbest shit ever. fags....
Feverrotes 15
OP it's because of people like you that United States of America is considered the land of the obese. Giving up on a diet after the first week or so is slightly acceptable, but on the first day? Some people need to come to their senses and realize that posting about their weak commitments/determinations on FML is not the best way to resolve the issue or gain sympathy.
michaelscott69 0
1: u said a snack 2: so you decided to eat indian food? 3: indian food? really? 4:indian food?!?! 5:INDIAN FOOD!?!?!!!
maskedman 9
that's the same thing I thought. when someone says snack I think of a small bag of chips or some cookies. this chick tried to sneak a meal.
DeathStar_fml 0
Indian food is good
NPblankie123 0
maybe they are freaking indian. stop judging haters. why do Americans eat 500 pound burgers at mcdonalds? AMERICAN?! AmErIcAN!???!!
Brown4life 0
some of it
isabellarodrigue 0
lmfao!
Kinoster 20
90: I would like to inform you that, I only get a 1/4 pounder with cheese when I go to McDonalds. But I am from Ireland so....