Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
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Top comments
ryannmichael 17
That's a hard situation to be in... sorry OP
random2212 16
Omg that's terrible!
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Comments (77)
MrGibbs25 20
sorry man, I know how horrible that is. however, you will be laughing about this soon enough. it's odd though lol
bl865ood 17
sometimes, us guys, get random boners.
QuaDECH 13
It's truly an annoying thing.
empav 16
Shouldn't your mind be on guarding the patrons at the pool? You deserve it yes I did read that you saved a kid, but they should have had your full attention. Doesn't take much for a person to drown
PePziNL 20
But he wàs at full attention...
whitevenom 12
He was paying attention, he saved a kid. Everyone has to be thinking about something at all times
HighasaCloud 46
He never said he was day-dreaming, only thinking about his girlfriend. You shouldn't assume that OP wasn't paying attention.
little_one 20
He was probably going to see her after his shift, hence the boner.
JKW35 21
The HR people might go hard on you...
WOTAN1488 24
I feel as if hard times are coming.
immunetoinsanity 23
Honestly, it happens. Especially when your adrenaline is pumping. Like when you are saving someone.
ZoroMiHawk 25
I don't think it's a normal occurrence for someone to get a boner from saving someone.
Wafalafaugus 18
If I recall correctly, it's hard to maintain an erection through periods of distress; it's surprising that the OP maintained his throughout the event.
allforfun 23
I must admit I've never gotten one in 20 years of firefighting/EMS... I think your statement is not quite accurate
lexiieeex3 32
Maybe you should think of saving children and doing your job rather than your girlfriend while on the clock next time.
sadistmonkey 19
.....he did do his job and save a kid... It could very well be that he wasn't trying to think of his girlfriend but the thought just popped into his head.
mukduk 21
#27 he obviously wasn't very focused considering he still had a raging boner while saving a drowning child.
MagnusDeus 24
You've obviously never had a job that requires a lot of standing/sitting around. If he was actually a pedophile, he'd always be thinking about those kids.
lexiieeex3 32
37- no one called OP a pedophile...
BlaqMontana 16
I hope his managers won't too
nfedrichy 20
I'm sure they'll have quite a big bone to pick with you lol. Sorry OP.had to. FYL.
Octane_89 7
Didn't have time to flip it in your waistband?
BeautifulChaos27 37
When someone needs saving there really isn't time for anything.
bapbap_fml 15
In a bathing suit? The tip might poke out then, making this situation even worse.
raysmith121 10
I don't think you need to life guard children if that's the kind of stuff you are into
cm1995_fml 10
Wtf??? He said he was thinking about his GIRLFRIEND.
QuaDECH 13
If he is into his girlfriend? I don't think that has anything to do with children, you may want to read the FML again.
little_one 20
I don't have one so I can't say for sure but I'm pretty positive especially when your young your penis has a mind of it's own, when I first started dating my husband I'd look at him and he'd be ready to go. Although in ten years not much has changed lol.